Dealing With Anger - 8 Useful Tips
Dealing With Anger - 8 Useful Tips
Dealing With Anger - 8 Useful Tips
Before a person can make the life affirming decision to seriously address their anger and/ or rage issues, there are certain things they may need to know first. Namely that....
Anger is not a bad thing in and of itself. It was gifted to us through evolution to help us learn, evolve and adapt and is a normal emotion. Anger if channeled in a positive way can truly change the world for the better.
Anger can be an addiction to cortisol and is caused by having weak adrenal glands. The adrenals are the "Fight or Flight" glands and every time we get angry, the adrenals release cortisol which the body then gets addicted to. This constant release of cortisol through frequent anger/ rage outbursts eventually weaken the adrenals even further which deepens the addiction. A person is then on the unconscious lookout for more reasons to get angry so they can get their fix of cortisol.
A person can choose anger to help them feel in control in an uncontrollable situation; power in a powerless situation. It is often a mask for fear. When a person is angry, they often temporarily feel very powerful. Remove this front and underneath you will often find a person who is very frightened by something that is going on in their lives.
TIPS ON STOPPING THE ANGER CYCLE
Regardless of what triggered the anger or rage, it is up to the person who is angry to stop the blame game and take responsibility. When we point the finger at someone, there is always 3 pointing back at the self. Look at what your part in the situation is or was. There are payoffs for being the victim and one of them is not having to take responsibility for one's actions.
When we feel the anger bubbling up, we need to stop talking to the person we are interacting with and remove ourselves from the situation to prevent a full blown rage episode. This may be uncomfortable at first due to cortisol addiction but will lead to self respect and harm reduction in the long term.
One of the quickest ways to escalate a situation is to talk over a person even if they talked over you. Concentrating on not interrupting the person you are interacting with will prevent an anger outburst or rage episode. Hard I know but necessary if you wish to stop anger from cycling out of control.
Avoid swearing... it fans the flames of our anger.
Do your best to not name call. When we stop using demeaning terms towards other people, we stop the expanding the cycle of anger.
Don't threaten people. This is manipulation and a way of trying to control them. It plays to other's insecurities which usually escalates their feelings and will as a result undoubtedly take our anger up a notch.
Strive to not to raise your voice. When we yell or talk in a mean tone we fuel our anger. Keep your voice at the same level if you can and avoid sarcasm. It gets you nowhere apart from deeper into self hate and negativity in the long term. Again... hard I know but well worth yours, and everybody else's, while if you can pull it off.
Recognise and remember that you may be in the throws of cortisol addiction when you feel anger bubbling up and that like any addict you are going to extremes to get your fix. Let this knowledge alone be your defence against choosing anger or allowing your anger to get to the rage stage.
All of the above may well be excruciatingly difficult at first, I know, but with practise, a positive response as opposed to a negative reaction to anger inviting situations is far better for your health and will become a new habit in time. It will be worth your while as the long term physical side effects of anger include headaches; gastrointestinal disorders; respiratory disorders; skin problems; urinary disorders; arthritis, depression and circulatory problems to name but a few not forgetting other consequences such as shattered relationships, divorce, violent crime and domestic violence etc...
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