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Depreciate More Quickly Than A Zentai

Rebelling against bridal gear means giving up a lot of power and privilege

, zentai though. When people say all brides are beautiful, they don't mean that ankle-length white costume zentai are universally flattering -- they mean that the costume confers a mantle of beauty. Women grow up constantly aware that they're being judged on their looks; a wedding is the one time when they're guaranteed to ace the test. Who wants to surrender the chance to be the most captivating person in the room? Trashing the costume zentai allows for a kind of punky sticking-it-to-the-manness that allows women to feel unique without losing their bridal power. Few material objects climb in value and then depreciate more quickly than a zentai, trashed or preserved. On purchase, it's worth several thousand dollars; on the big day, it's nearly priceless. (You could make a fortune kidnapping and ransoming zentai on Saturdays in June.) The day after that -- closet fodder. Mummifying a gown for storage usually costs between $200 and $400, though for a complicated costume zentai the price could go as high as $800. The Association of Wedding Gown Specialists brags about its trademarked MuseumCare process, also used by curators at both Christie's and Sotheby's. The point is to turn the spandex zentai into a relic. It's a way to hold onto your bridal experience, like Miss Havisham if she'd landed the man.

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