Designing a Pattern of Action
Designing a Pattern of Action
Designing a Pattern of Action
The first part of this step is to understand what you need to change and why we need to make that change. This concept seems simple, but it is not. You will be amazed - or maybe not - as to the answer you get when you ask people why they are where they are in life...especially if they are not where they want to be. Most people will cite parents, job, kids, spouse, (or maybe the lack of a spouse) as to the reason why they are not where they want to be. The one thing they won't blame is themselves. To be fair, in many cases there might have been nothing you could of done to avoid your current situation, but I'm willing to bet that there are some disciplines you could of adopted along the way that would have helped you to avoid your current situation.
From a psychological aspect we all have "hard wired" emotions that need to be expressed in some manner. For instance, you may be hard wired to need excitement, and the way you choose to express this is through destructive behavior - like doing drugs. Then you decide not to do drugs any more (good choice). But, your emotions still want to be expressed, to get out and play. If you are not doing anything exciting, there is no way for this emotion to be expressed. So, your sub-conscious starts sending messages telling you to do something exciting.
Your sub-conscious is not very creative and tends to go back to what it knows and what is easy, which in this case is drugs. Then - BAM - you are back where you started; only now you feel like a failure for falling back into destructive behavior. Obviously, you can and should eliminate exciting, but destructive behavior. Replace it with an alternative activity that will still bring excitement to your life. If you crave excitement, maybe you should explore rock climbing, or other extreme sports.
When I tried to quit drinking, I would quit for a few months and then get bored, and start drinking again. Once I realized the pattern, I was able to more fully examine the reasons I was drinking.
I discovered that I drank to feel significant; to feel smart and funny. When I came to the conclusion that I was definitely not portraying a smart and funny person, I started to seek out people who thought I was smart and funny without the aid of alcohol, which frankly, wasn't very easy. So, I started training and becoming more physically fit. I also started reading and learning more about my chosen field, in order to be more significant in my field.
Not one of this things was the magic 'thing' that helped me to stop drinking, but like most big changes it was a accumulation of all of these things that did the trick. I changed the pattern of action in my life to better support the positive changes I was making, a pattern of action that supported my life in a positive way.
Now that you have successfully designed a pattern of action, and replaced a destructive pattern of action with another, more suitable pattern of action, it's time to move on to the third step.
My name is Peterson Nesbit I am Sara's husband and Abby's father, am also a salesmen/mgr, speaker/ writer and positive person. After spending the first 20+ years squandering my gifts I'm would like to help people avoid some of the mistakes I made. I wish you success in whatever you do.
God Bless
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