Divorce: Believe It Or Not, You Can Begin Again

The end of a marriage can be very lonely

The end of a marriage can be very lonely. Since you aren't used to being by yourself, losing your spouse can feel doubly scary. There is no magic bullet to calm your fears, but there are things you can do to start the healing process.

1. Take a vacation. If you can't afford a lot of money, check into a tour group. If nothing else, check in with an old friend or visit a relative you haven't seen in a long time. Whatever you do, a change of scenery may do you a lot of good.

2. Take a class. The best way to help a brain that is full of painful memories is to give it something else to think about. If your town has a community college, you will meet new people, which will give your mind even more goodies to ponder.

If you are not close to a physical facility, look on the net. The opportunities to learn are infinite, and there is nothing like delving into something new to help you put your blues in perspective.

3. Join a club. There are many groups whose sole purpose is civic improvement. They are happy to include new members, and will welcome any time you can give.

There are also groups dedicated to certain interests. Perhaps you can find folks who like to play tennis. Maybe there is a book club or writer's circle you can join.

Again, if you can't find people in your area who are doing something you'd enjoy, look on line. There are plenty of forums and chat rooms dedicated to specific interests. Learn their rules and join in. They are always happy to have new members.

4. Surely you have friends. Call them up and invite them out. If you don't have a lot of money, suggest a walk or a lecture as an activity. Even a cup of coffee can help rekindle a satisfying relationship. Maybe your buddy would be interested in joining some of the activities you would enjoy. Then, you will have a companion to share your explorations.

5. Find a friendly church. Even if the denomination isn't one whose spiritual doctrine you share, you may find that the people in the congregation are well worth knowing. Many churches have coffee hours after their services, or committees that are always happy to find new blood in their ranks. You won't have to discuss or defend your spiritual beliefs. However, you may find comfort in sharing them with some like minded people.

In short, the best way to recover from your heartbreak is to find new interests. You don't have to find a serious romance right away. Give yourself time to get back on your feet before you worry about dating. If you relax and go where the people are, you will be able to rebuild your life on solid ground. Then, you will be strong enough to make decisions for yourself from a position of self confidence and strength.

Copyright (c) 2010 Lucille Uttermohlen

by: Lucille Uttermohlen

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