Divorce Can Happen Without Courtroom Drama

In the days of old, in order to get a divorce from your spouse you would have to claim that they did something immoral, scandalous or negligent

. Common grounds for divorce were abandonment, adultery or abuse. Furthermore, abuse meant severe cruelty, not just emotional abuse. Abandonment meant literally abandoned, not just emotionally distant.

And adultery meant you better have proof, not just suspicion. In other words, getting a divorce wasn't easy and frequently involved one spouse accusing the other of doing some fairly horrific things during the course of the marriage. As you can well imagine, divorce proceedings often culminated in heated courtroom battles with one party trying to defend their reputation and the other trying to convince a judge that they deserved their sought after divorce. Unfortunately it was the children who were stuck in the middle of all this and ultimately suffered the consequences.

The children had to listen to awful rumors that mommy or daddy was a philanderer. Or perhaps that one parent left them because they weren't loved. At the end of the day it was the children that suffered most under the archaic divorce systems of the past. Thankfully, we have come a long way since then.

Most states now allow for no fault divorces. Basically, what that means is that you don't have to give a reason for seeking the divorce in your divorce pleadings. You can simply say that you have irreconcilable differences or language similar to that. No more pitting one spouse against the other, no more blame required.

It is now sufficient to just admit that things didn't work out and you both desire to move on with your lives. This often eliminates the need to appear in court entirely. Most of the time a divorce can be handled outside of the courtroom. The parties have the option, generally with the guidance and advice of their respective attorneys, to settle all issues between them and then reduce the agreement to writing and submit it to a judge for her signature.

Most states have fairly well settled guidelines for property division, child custody, visitation and child support. This gives the parties a framework within which to reach an agreement. Not only does reaching an agreement outside of a courtroom benefit the parties to the divorce, but the children are spared humiliation and psychological trauma. Children do not need to know any of the details of the divorce.

They can then concentrate on adjusting to their new life with their parents apart. Divorce can be a rough time for children, even when the parents aren't battling it out in public and in the courtroom. Thankfully, today's divorce proceedings are geared toward the best interests of the children and aim to protect them throughout all phases of a divorce. Nobody ever thinks they will one day be a party to a divorce proceeding, but it's nice to know it can be handled amicably.

by: Nick Messe

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