Do Not Break Up series – Identify Relationship Problems Before It's Too Late

Do Not Break Up series Identify Relationship Problems Before It's Too Late

Conflicts are inevitable in ongoing relationships. Couples can enter relationships with differences in their socio-economic and sometimes cultural backgrounds; self-worth; ability to tolerate stress; tastes and preferences; values and beliefs; interests; and social and family networks.

Relationship problems can vary in severity, duration and frequency. What may seem minor issues may have symbolic meanings and/or a historical context to either or both partners. Relationship problems are not just a result of matters of difference, but also of perceptions and interpretations.

I have compiled a list of relationship problems which I have slotted into three categories:

Differences between partners

No two people are alike. Indeed, coming from different backgrounds, family upbringing, education levels, etc. will reflect differences in partners' wants, wishes and preferences.

How caring, how care is shown

Choice of friends

Sharing household duties

Quantity and quality of intimacy

Earning/saving/spending capacity

Looks, body, dressing

Daily routine/activities (such as wake up, sleep and meal times)

Degree of sexual requirement

Trust (credibility, reliability)

TV/internet time

Values and principles that matter

Political leanings

Belief in God, agnostic or atheist

Career emphasis

Child raising styles

Change in circumstances

Changes are part of life. As circumstances change for one partner or both partners, it can cause a strain on the relationship.

Moving to a new home, neighbourhood or town

One partner starts work, leaves job, goes back to school

Death of parent(s)

Care for ageing parent(s)

One partner starts a new hobby/sport/activity

A promotion that requires more time in the office

A job that requires lots of out-of-town travel

Problems caused by crisis

Every crisis is an important turning point in a relationship, whether for better or for worse.

Cheating partner

Unwanted pregnancy

Realization of infertility

Serious monetary loss

Serious illness diagnose

Severe substance abuse

Loss of job

Identifying and accepting that a relationship problem exist is the first essential step in avoiding and resolving a potential break up. Thus a relationship problem has two facets: the problem itself and the problem-solving skills of each partner. Other articles in my Do Not Break Up series will include: Skills to Solve Relationship Problems; Importance of Relationships; Relationship Challenges and Marital Breakdown.

Everything I write is borne of the personal and emotional trauma I had experienced in a period of my own marriage that almost caused me to break up with my partner (husband). I share My Story in my website: DoNotBreakUp.com

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