Emotional Intelligence Training-ask The Right Question
Emotional Intelligence Training- Ask the Right Questions to Get the Right Answer
Ever ask yourself any of these questions:
"Why don't I ever have extra money?"
"Why do I have such terrible relationships with (fill in the blank here: men, women, bosses, French poodles)?"
"Why am I so (again, answer with your most common slam against yourself: fat, ugly, artistically uninspired)?"
Whatever you do, stop this at once! These types of questions set up a losing game for you right from the start.
How so? Your subconscious mind accepts as Truth (that's with the capital T) whatever you tell it. It is paradoxically, the most capable and yet most ignorant ally you have. Capable since it can come up with answers to any question you pose. Even if those answers are just educated guesses. Ignorant, because your subconscious does not, for even the briefest moment, question what you tell it. It presupposes every thing you tell it is true.
So, for example, if you ask, "Why am I so stupid?" It doesn't say, "Just wait a minute. You're not stupid! Remember when you bought Microsoft for $3.17 a share, or how about when you put your backyard deck in yourself, or when you figured out how to change the clock on your VCR for daylight savings time? You are really so very smart."
Sadly, the subconscious does not contradict. It is not the mind's seat of tough love that holds up a mirror and forces us to see life as it really is. It is more of a fun house mirror that returns and deepens the image your conscious mind already has of itself. The bad news is, ask yourself a lousy question, and you get a lousy answer. No contradictions, no protests, just answers to your questions, whatever they may be.
How Can Emotional Intelligence Training Help?
Now, let's look at the good news. Since it will find a way to prove you right, or to answer your question, it will work as your advocate just as quickly as it works against you when you "program" it with a negative question.
How would this play out?
Simple. Let's say, what you'd really like to do is to have financial security. Rather than asking yourself, why do I never have any money, or why does money seem to slip through my fingers? Let those ideas go right now (this is all part of the training process). Using emotional intelligence you should instead, replace them with a well worded question, for example, what can I give so I may have financial abundance in return?
See, the Universe loves this idea that you reap what you sow. The more you give, the more you get. So focus strongly on this. Meditate on it. Ask yourself what your most compelling strengths are, and how you may put those to use to benefit others, and in doing so, reap financial rewards. When you put your mind to developing your talents to the benefit of others, amazing things happen.
Let's go through another example so you can get a solid idea of the "well-framed" question.
Say you would like to meet someone special. A question you would ask yourself is, how can I consistently draw out my best qualities in order to attract the kind of person that I'm looking for? (or my soul mate, or whatever concept appeals to you). Note here that you're looking again to give, since the key is contribution (sowing) first, then you ask for something, or someone, (and reap) in return. In the meanwhile, you're out there being lighthearted and charming, having a great time while others enjoy the pleasure of your company. Not only will you find the person you're looking for, but the whole process will be much more relaxed and fun.
Do play with this concept of emotional intelligence training by asking the right question. Have fun with the process of rephrasing those former questions that brought you down with those that lift you up and provide a wealth of incredible insight. Keep this in mind, "The quality of your solution directly relates to how well you phrase the problem."
Until next time,
Crystal Jonas
by: EmotionalIntelligenceLeadershipTraining
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