Erotic Transference In Psychotherapy

What is erotic transference in psychotherapy? How does it happen

? Well, in the psychotherapeutic setting, erotic transference is an experience of "feeling in love" with the therapist. Okay, this obviously can create certain issues or problems, but it does not mean the therapy should end. There is a proper and effective way to deal with erotic transference in psychotherapy.

In the first place, why does erotic transference happen? Well, first of all, every client has different reasons for seeking out a therapist and psychotherapy for that matter. However in general, the main reason (or one of the deepest reasons) is the absence of much needed genuine concern and love during childhood years, or the lacking it consistency.

So, in psychotherapy, the client now begins to understand that he or she has been using psychological defense mechanisms in order to thrive in life, but many of these defenses have actually caused relationship problems. Now in dealing with a competent and well-minded therapist, the client can begin to be more emotionally honest. As this can happen, the client also perceive that he is now being understood and accepted in a genuine way with real, genuine concern and love for that matter.

Now, this new experience can hit a person with intoxicating doses of love, understanding and concern. The client may feel really special for the therapist, and he or she can indeed see the therapist as someone special too. So now, what do we do? Should the therapy end?

Not necessarily, because with a good therapist, you can work this through. What you have to do is to acknowledge that these feelings do exist. And that now, you can indeed communicate honestly about how you feel. So make this a part of the therapy.

Speak with your therapist about how you feel, and let you and him or her explore the meaning of these feelings. Of course, you have to remain within appropriate bounds as much as possible without sacrificing emotional and genuine honesty. Now, you can also discuss how you felt as a child (or even as an adult), when you were not recognized, but even criticized harshly and treated unfairly. Discuss also with your therapist the feeling of being accepted, recognized, and understood and being listened to. These feelings brought about the "feeling of being in love".

As you move past these feelings, you and your therapist can move to deeper issues that concern genuine care and love.

by: Irsan Komarga

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