Ex Back Advice – The Truth About the No Contact Rule and How You Should Use it for Best Effect
Ex Back Advice The Truth About the No Contact Rule and How You Should Use it for Best Effect
You know the ex back advice gig by now and can chant it in your sleep.
1. Accept the break up
2. Cut off contact with your ex
Step 2 is often called the "No Contact" rule and contrary to popular belief, the timeframe for using it is not set in stone. Many ex back advice blogs and articles state that "no contact" should be maintained for a period of 30-days.
Why 30 days? Well, why not? People like working to rules, regulations and timeframes. The main point is that this period gives you enough time to get back in control.
I don't know about you, but my emotions do not wear a wristwatch or carry a timer! It may take you 20 days, 30 or even 50. We are all individual.
Which leads us to the question, how does the no contact rule work?
Not contacting your ex serves two main purposes.
1. You need to calm down and get back in control of your emotions.
Your emotions are flying all over the place. You feel hurt, angry, devastated, bitter, upset and more. These very primal emotions can lead you to do and say things that you may regret later and that will drive your ex further away. You are not thinking rationally.
Some common mistakes are constant text messages, calls, social network stalking, trying to invoke feelings of guilt and many more. If you are making some or even all of these mistakes now, just stop. You still have a chance to turn things around.
2. Your ex needs time and space to miss you.
They cannot miss you if you are in their face every minute of the day.
Of course, there may be times when you have to contact your ex. Perhaps you work together, have financial ties or children. In these cases keep all conversations civil and on topic. Try not to be dragged into discussions about your relationship and old arguments.
So, now you know the basic technique of the no contact rule, you need to know how to apply it for best effect.
First, your ex needs to know that you will not be contacting them. Yes, it will become obvious to them that you have severed ties eventually. But, to flick that switch in their brain and put them on the back foot wondering what on earth you are up to, actually tell your ex you are breaking off all contact.
This is best done in a simple letter, no more than a few lines. There is no need to write essays. An example...
Dear Ex,