Female Sexual Submission
Female Sexual Submission
Female Sexual SubmissionFemale sexual submission can be a touchy subject to bring up with your partner, especially if they don't really know or understand a lot about it. If they have seen images or stories of cruel sadism without knowing it's true meaning, understandably it can be enough to scare anyone far away from exploring their fantasies and instead remain in the safe haven, of regular sex.
It's for this very reason that if you do have a natural desire for female sexual submission and wish to pursue it with your partner, that you will need to be extremely tactile and educate him as to what it is really all about. Going in cold and asking your boyfriend to hurt you, but in a good way can be extremely confronting and even frightening for some men. Most of which have been brought up to protect and never be forceful towards their partner. Getting passed that can understandably take some time. What also may take some time is getting your partner to truly comprehend what being in a BDSM relationship is all about.
If he doesn't know at lot about female sexual submission, he may be of the opinion that it is harmful and non consensual. It will be up to you to reinforce that being in a relationship that involves sexual sadism is actually experiencing one of the deepest and most consensual relationships of all, and that you love and trust him enough to share these experiences with him. You can do this by explaining the amount organization and communication between partners that goes in to preparing for a BDSM session. But before you even get to that part, you will need to consider how you will broach this delicate topic with him first.
If you have no idea how your partner may respond to your BDSM request, it's a good idea to firstly bring it up outside of the bedroom. Coming on too strong with talk of whips or wooden panels and brutal sadism whilst in the throes of passion may simply freak your partner out and turn them completely off. Instead think about the different ways of approaching this taboo topic in a safe non-sexual environment.
If your partner is generally open to all types of discussion, then bring it up first as a topical subject rather than a proposition. Ask what he really knows about it, what he feels about it and if he could see himself taking part in it with the right partner. If you don't feel comfortable with this approach you could also bring it up while watching a movie together that involves S&M or if you see a sexual image depicting an act of S&M. Or if you are play fighting you could also use some innuendo by including some harmless spanking or role play before bringing up the possibility of taking it just that little bit more seriously and just that little bit further.
If your partner is unsure yet curious, encourage them to learn more about BDSM and female sexual submission like it's your own secret project or adventure that you are both researching together. Discuss openly and honestly what might interest you and what definitely does not. Ease them in to the idea slowly and only agree to experiment with it together when you both totally understand the meaning behind a BDSM relationship. Remember BDSM is completely consensual and won't be enjoyable if one party is not really in to it.
If you have agreed to experiment, first discuss outside of the bedroom exactly what you would like to try. If your partner feels particularly cautious or timid, proceed with baby steps and try 'regular' sex toys in to the bedroom that are less intimidating. Try using a blindfold, or encourage slight tugging of the hair or even sensual biting if you don't do this already. When you are both comfortable with these, consider moving on to something like spanking with only a bare hand. If you both enjoy it you can discuss moving on to using a wooden paddle. Make it fun it doesn't have to be dark unless you want it to be.
If this goes well you may want to move on to other methods such as using a whip or ropes. In this instance you definitely need to decide on your toys beforehand, discuss them together and practice using them before in a non-sexual way. It's really important to do this because it's like having a few dress rehearsals before the show. You both need to know exactly what your role is, if your 'costumes' are comfortable and work with what you're doing, and that your 'props' are all in a working order that is safe and consensual to both parties, because really you don't want any surprises on the night.
And finally, you must agree on the all important 'safe word' so he knows when to slow down, and when to stop all together. It's also a good idea not to scare him away with too much too soon. Instead look at female sexual submission like slowly opening a door to a new and secret world which might be intimidating at first, but with the right guidance and preparation can lead him to a whole new world.