Five Steps to Surviving Divorce For the Over 50
Five Steps to Surviving Divorce For the Over 50
There are a number of reasons why married couples stayed together.
Society looked at individuals as failures if their marriage broke up and therefore stayed together as a result. Apart from the media, much of the stigma of divorce came from family, friends and peers. Financial security was another reason why married couples stayed together. Government family policy, 10, 20,30, 40 years supported the family unit more so than today.
Probably the biggest reason for staying together was because of the children. Many married couples stayed together for the children's sake but lived unhappy lives.
Today, more and more people are living longer and therefore the chance of 'going it alone' has increased. The over 50's age bracket in particular has seen a rise in the divorce rates over the past ten years. It is this age bracket that the children have grown up and left home. It is this age bracket that the mortgage has been paid off so less financial burden. It is this age bracket that people have seen a change in Government Family policy favouring non-married couples and therefore encouraged divorce. It is this age bracket that the over-50's seek a long and happy retirement.
Now that you are divorce and over the age of fifty how do you survive?
Step 1 - Make friends with like-minded people like yourself: Going it alone can be a daunting experience if you have been together for a long time. Whether you wanted the divorce or not it could be difficult getting used to being on your own. If your companionship was your ex-partner then you may find that your social life may suffer. There are many services that you can use to find and make friends. Check out your local newspaper and look in the classified sections for local groups and clubs near you. The Internet is another source of information to locate information about meeting points. You could also use Online Dating to find your perfect match.
Step 2 - Look at who you are: You may have been consumed by married life and forgot the person you are. It is easy forget the person you were before you were married. You may have even accepted how married life has moulded you. Take it step by step and write down the things you like and dislike. Ask yourself - what make you motivated - what make you tick - Spend some time away from home at probably a friend's house for a few days. This may help you work out the things you take and or took for granted when you were married. Your friend may see certain traits in you that is unacceptable or acceptable. If it is a true friend then there should be no problem telling you certain house ground rules allowed.
Step 3 - seek divorce counselling: Once your divorced everything may seem to fall away such as social life, confidence and financial security. You may feel uncomfortable discussing your feelings and problems that exist as a result of divorce. But Counselling is a good step. Counselling is a sure way to lay out your concerns on the table for addressing or readdressing. Counselling benefits include but is not limited to the following: Counselling can offer a supportive and caring relationship in which you can explore any issue around divorce at your own pace.
Whether you wanted the divorce or not you are accepted for who you are.
It can help you see difficulties more objectively.
It can help you express your feeling and come to terms with new or past experiences.
It can be part of a growing process whereby unwanted feelings can be changed.
It can build self esteem and bring your confidence after divorce.
It can help you take control of your life and become more assertive.
It can improve your communication.
It can help you to become more realistic in setting goals.
These are just some of the benefits of divorce counselling and you would do well take take up this service.
Step 4- Keep in touch with your children: The effects of divorce can have an big impact on the children. Some children take sides with a parent leaving another rejected. If your life revolved around the children but the relationship become broken as a result of divorce, consider rebuilding. There is nothing to take away the joys and challenges of bringing up children. This is what you have as a foundation for building a successful relationship with your children. Don't forget the birthday cards and other celebrations that you had when you were with your children. No matter the age of the children never fail to show your child that you still love them. Remember, your children are a product of you and in the same sense your personality is shaped by them.
Step 5 - Get busy and be occupied: Find things to do to keep your mind occupied. Life after divorce can be could indeed weigh you down to say the least. Work up some energy to keep yourself busy rather than moping around and feeling sorry for yourself. Be strong and resourceful as opposed to being sad and miserable. You will be amazed how you could get through divorce by being busy and occupying yourself around other people. Taking your mind off of yourself will help you clear your mind. Of course, the problem does not necessarily go away but at least it will get you through it.
These are just some of the key steps to get you started on the road to recovery from divorce. No one ever said divorce was easy because if you can imagine a way of life for years then it ends. People have to find ways of overcoming the effects of change in heir lives. Make use of this article
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