From Cary, Dundee And Mchenry, Il-how To Select An Expert Counselor To Repair Your Marriage

Dedication and smarts are required in order to find the best marriage counselor for you and your spouse

. Draft a list from recommendations, referrals, or the Yellow Pages and visit several of them for an initial appointment.

Be clear about your expectations, write them down, then, at the end of the session, evaluate what you observed. At the beginning of your initial consultation, start by presenting relevant questions.

The quality of the therapist's responses to your face-to-face questions should reveal a lot. If the therapist's answers don't make common sense, that's a huge red flag.

Cross him off your list. Expect your questions to be answered clearly, in a manner that you can understand and to which you can relate.

If you want to find your community's best marriage or family counselor, continue reading to find out the fastest ways to do it.

(1)What should I expect during the initial consultation?

During your first visit you will get a lot of direct and indirect info about whether this particular family therapist is right for you. Your ability to pay for your services is crucial to your success, so, first thing, talk to him about your health insurance plan and be sure that he accepts it.

Don't be embarrassed to ask about your insurance plan and fees. The counselor should be willing to discuss fees, insurance and/or any financial arrangements in advance of any counseling.

If you feel a rapport with the therapist and trust in his skill, fill out any forms he requests of you. These forms collect your demographic and contact information.

They are also needed to gather information about your insurance policy, so that he can bill your insurance company correctly. Also, disclose the specifics of any history of counseling or psychotherapy you may have and include information about any psychiatric medications you may be taking.

Remember, your comfort level is central:

- Check out the office environment. Does the overall appearance of the office and the counselor help you to feel comfortable? Is the appearance neat, clean and orderly?

- Does the therapist seem genuinely interested in you, your family and your relationships?

- Do you find the marriage counselor to be warm and easy to understand? If he has a confusing accent, that is usually a big red flag? After all, you need someone you can easily understand.

-Is he or she eager to answer your questions? Does he seem seem forthright and candid?

If you are not happy with the counselor's responses to your queries or if you are uncomfortable with his manner, consider consulting another therapist. Remember, it is crucial that you feel comfortable with and trust him or her.

Also, if the practice is a high-volume fast-paced commercial operation in which the counselor appears to rush from client to client, that can be another Red Flag! Consider consulting another therapist.

Also, during this first visit, notice the feedback you are getting from the counselor on your psychological and relationship history. Does it appear sincere, direct, candid? Is it Insightful, useful?

(2) Does the therapist take time to explain how he views your problems and offer suggestions specifying the best techniques to resolve them? Do you understand the recommendations? Could you explain them to someone else?

If you don't understand any part of your therapist's evaluation or recommendations, be sure to ask for more details. Among the services you may need are individual counseling for your spouse, couples counseling and perhaps psychological testing to hone in on elusive, particularly troubling problems.

Can the therapist provide some or all of these? Ask what other interventions may be available...seminars, group counseling, the use of CDs or tapes, medication etc?

Consider asking how these options differ in cost and which ones tend to last the longest? How do they compare in required frequency and time commitments? Which ones are the counselor able to provide?

Find out how much relationship counseling specifically is necessary. Ask if counseling for the kids is needed or would be beneficial?

Your family therapist should be able to offer you intervention options to help you get your therapeutic needs met at a cost, frequency and intensity that is appropriate to your needs.

If that's what you get, congratulations. Odds are, you have the best counselor for you.

by: Mike Shery

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