Get Your Ex Back By Avoiding These Two Common Mistakes
The holidays can be a great time to spend with your loved ones especially a significant other
. If you do not have a significant other or have recently gone through a relationship breakup, the holidays are an especially lonely time. Beat the holiday blues by discovering how to get your ex back by avoiding these two common mistakes. Make this the last holiday season that you spend sad and alone without the company of the one you love.In order to get your ex back, you have to make him or her want you back after the relationship breakup. They need to be made to feel that the breakup was a mistake and that you are the one they love and want to spend their life with.
If you have been broken up with, this can be difficult to do in order to win back your ex's heart. Freshly after a relationship breakup, you may engage in various tactics and behaviors that will only hurt your chances of being able to get your ex back.
What are the reasons that it is always difficult to win back an ex love? You may have tried everything to win back your ex to no avail. Not only have your efforts pushed your ex further away, but you have started to lose hope of ever being able to get your ex back and restore your relationship. You may have even become frustrated, desperate and down in the dumps about the relationship breakup and your failed attempts to win back your ex.
There are many mistakes that may have affected your attempts to get back your ex. Listed below are twofolds reasons that may explain your failed efforts to win back your ex and restore the relationship.
Balance of Power Shift
If you are the dumpee and are still in love with your ex and want to get them back, the sad reality is that your ex is in a power position. Since they walked away from the relationship, they are under no pressure to get back with you or take your feelings into consideration. This shift in the balance of power that leaves you at the mercy of your ex usually leads to desperation and you doing the wrong things in order to win your ex back.
In addition, after a relationship breakup especially one that caught you off guard, you may start doing the wrong things to get your ex back because you really have no tools or resources that will show you how to successfully win your ex back and restore the relationship. It is not your fault that you have no idea how to get back your ex. You have just not had the tools that you needed to help you successfully win back your ex after this shift in the balance of power.
All your desperate attempts to win back your ex will only inflate your ex's ego and they may enjoy putting you through the drama of trying to win them back, or it may start to annoy them especially if they are trying to move on. Through your desperation, they will know that you want and need them desperately and they may use this information against you and take advantage of you.
Being Available to Your Ex
As you can see, being and acting desperate for your ex's attention in order to win back your ex will only fail and you will not be able to get back your ex. If you have recently gone through a relationship breakup, take a moment and do not rush into letting your ex know that you desperately want them back. Getting your ex back may be your goal but your ex does not need to know this. Do not become available to your ex at any time. Do not give them this power that they can wield over you anytime the mood suits them.
As a first step after a relationship breakup, keep your intention to get your ex back to yourself and try to create some distance from your ex. The same advice applies if you suspect that your ex is about to break up with you and you are thinking of begging them to stay. Do not beg him or her to stay since this will only be counterproductive. Remain calm and agree to the relationship breakup and let them leave. Do not let your ex know that you want him or her back.
Take this time when you distance yourself from your ex as a period to focus on other things besides your ex even if you have to force yourself to get out of bed and out of the house. Go out with your friends that you may have neglected or take the time to make new friends or get involved in a new activity. Make all attempts to make yourself unavailable to your ex or perform any favors for them. Be polite if by any chance they call or text you. Do not spend a lot of time talking or responding to their texts.
Do not jump every time he or she reaches out to you. You may feel that this is an opportunity to show your ex how much you love and want them back and how much they need you but trust me, this is a mistake. You will only appear like a doormat that your ex may take advantage of when the need suits them since they know that you will do anything for them without them needing to do anything for you. They may even start to get fed up with your neediness and even with you not being able to say no to them.
Stay away from your ex for a period so that they do not feel that they are in the power position due to your desperation to win them back. This will place you in a better (powerful) position and you will be able to start doing the right things that will help you get back your ex.
by: Lydia Stevens