How Do I Make Him Attracted To Me Again? Tips And Advice That Might Help

How Do I Make Him Attracted To Me Again? Tips And Advice That Might Help

I recently heard from a very distraught wife who told me that she didn't think her husband found her "remotely attractive" anymore. She'd noticed that her husband had been avoiding her and was very rarely making physical contact with her anymore. She admitted that after having two children, her appearance had changed slightly and she was concerned about losing the bond in her marriage. She was also concerned about infidelity that might be on the horizon. She worried that someone younger or someone who she perceived as more attractive than her was going to turn her husband's head.

She asked me in part: "Is there anything that I can do to make myself more attractive to my husband? His face used to light up when he looked at me, but now, if he looks at me at all, there is dissatisfaction on his face. What can I do to change this?"

This is a difficult position to be in. Confidence is such an important part of this process, and right now, the wife's confidence was at an all time low. And honestly, attraction is only partly based on looks and physical appearance. I felt very strongly that if the wife understood that components that make up marital attraction, she could turn this situation around. I will discuss this more in the following article.

What Husbands Find Attractive In Wives: The first point that I want to make is that it's very likely that your husband doesn't base his affection toward you solely on the way that you look. Of course, physical appearance does play a role, but it is by no means the only thing that matters. Many men have opened up to me about this topic on my blog, and it is my opinion that husbands are attracted to wives that make them feel good about themselves.

I know that this might sound silly or over simplistic. But, I must stress that this concept is so very important. Men are fiercely attracted to women who make them feel smart, funny, attractive, competent, powerful, and successful. As unfair as it sometimes sounds, men are attracted to women that they perceive will make their lives and their situations better. To this end, they are likely very attracted to confident, light hearted, and happy women that bring joy into their lives.

So, when you in some way bring their attention to or magnify life's every day worries, problems, and issues, the negative connotations that these things bring can sort of bleed onto your husband's perception of you. Many women will tell me that they can't help but ask their husband why he doesn't find them attractive and to also ask him for more attention and affection. But, this is almost drawing his attention to negative perceptions that only hurt your situation.

When I explain this, wives will sometimes ask: "So, you're saying that I'm just supposed to pretend that I'm happy when I'm not? Am I supposed to just act as if everything is fine when it isn't?" That's not entirely accurate. What I am saying is that you are often better off focusing on eliciting positive feelings rather than negative ones, which leads me to my next point.

Appearing More Attractive To Your Husband: The woman who wrote to me was actually considering plastic surgery. She was thinking about taking drastic measures to alter her appearance. I believe that it's so very important that you are happy with yourself and that you are able to project this onto the world. It's nearly impossible to project confidence that you yourself do not feel. But, if you are crafting your appearance based on what you perceive is what someone else wants or likes, you're forgetting the most important person in the equation which is yourself.

You will need to be happy with the way that you look before you project this acceptance onto someone else. Always keep this in mind before you commit to drastic changes. I have to tell you that many women tell me that they have good results with just shifting their behaviors and their actions. As I've already alluded to, you're likely going to get dramatic results if you focus on how your husband feels about himself.

And often, if you ask yourself what it is that you want and then give that to him, you will find these things reflected right back to you. Here's how it works. If you want more attention from your husband, then direct your attention to him. If you want to see more loving gestures like compliments, back rubs, and hand holding, begin by taking the initiative and providing these things to him.

Many people are concerned with this method because they worry that they are doing all of the work and making all of the changes. And, if can feel like this at first. But, by giving your husband what you yourself want, you will often notice that he suddenly feels more positively about himself and his situation. In turn, he will likely respond by giving you more of what you want.

I know that many women doubt me when I say that your actions, attitude, and behaviors elicit attraction every bit as much as looks and chemistry. A man who feels loved, valued, prioritized, understood, appreciated and heard by his wife is likely going to find his wife very attractive because she makes him feel so good about himself and places such a positive spin upon his life and his experiences.

Sure, it's always a good idea to look your best and to take care of yourself. You want to be able to project confidence and satisfaction about how you look. There is nothing wrong with making changes to ensure that you are happy with yourself. But, there are so many other things that make up attraction and your marital connection. Never underestimate your actions and how you prioritize your marriage and your husband. I honestly believe that in some ways, men are not all that different from us.

Think about what you find attractive in your own life. Because if I'm being honest, I have to admit that if my husband listens to me, compliments me, takes time for me, and shows me he loves me in a variety of ways, I'm not going to worry so much about if his hair looks perfect or is his waist line is a few inches bigger than it used to me. I'm just going to respond positively because being and feeling loved is more important to most people than what their eyes literally see. People often respond more to what they feel.

How did I learn this? Through making a lot of mistakes (which almost cost me my marriage) when I was trying to make my own husband fall back in love with me. Eventually, I was able to restore my husband's love and not only save the marriage, but make it stronger. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/.

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