How NOT to Deal With Fighting in a Relationship

How NOT to Deal With Fighting in a Relationship

There are 3 ways that men normally deal with fighting

A. They yell, scream, and banter around to prove that it's a bad idea to provoke them

B. They try and explain themselves

C. They walk out on their girlfriend as a means to regain control and remind her about how it feels to lose them

All 3 methods are wrong.

(A) displays a lack of emotional control over oneself and is the easiest way to fail to shit test. Not only this, but you may come off as abusive or unstable. It escalates tension, and risks damaging a relationship permanently. All you've proved is that you're just as crazy as her. In terms of strategic maneuverability in a fight, it immediately hands the reins back to her because she can now classify you as a lunatic who "doesn't understand" what she's saying. There are two possible results if you follow this path. Either your fights will propagate themselves and your relationship will self-destruct or you'll go to far and permanently damage your girlfriend's mental frame and self-esteem.

(B) I'm going to go into more detail about why this is wrong in a later article. For now, I just want you to know that explaining yourself to a girl is like trying to explain to your parrot why he's in a cage. Women are emotional creatures and as such, do not reciprocate via logic or any type of Overt Communication. "Explaining yourself" simply means giving her more ammo to fire away at you.

(C) Sadly, C has been mis-interpreted by many men (me included) as the most Alpha way to react in a fight. You walk out on her, showing that you care less. In essence, it is provoking the cardinal rule of relationships; "In any relationship, the person with the most power is the one who needs the other the least". Two problems here. First, while it's true that men are meant to be the dominant figure in a male-female dynamic, this does NOT mean that you should intentionally construct an imbalanced relationship. This is classic AFC misinterpretation of relationship advice. The goal of the "DO NOT GET ONEITIS" campaign is NOT to reduce your girlfriend's power over you into a meager vagabond, It is rather to encourage a relationship based on mutual respect and love, and PREVENT relationships based on psychological dependency. Second, if you're considering walking out on your girlfriend, you've misconceived the notion of masculinity. By walking out you have proved to her that she can indeed break you. It is a sign of surrender, in a more fashionable way.

-This being said keep in mind a few things. No one is perfect, you're not expected to handle every situation with the suaveness of James Bond. Fights with your girlfriend WILL inevitably escalate, and you WILL eventually lose your composure and yell, the important part is to realize when you have made a mistake. And a note about (c); this doesn't mean you cling to a relationship regardless of how bad it gets. If she asks you for a break or tells you to leave, don't hesitate. Do not confuse "storming out in a fit of rage" with "leaving because it is the best thing for you to do." I'll go over (b) and how to correctly handle shit tests / fights in a separate article

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