How To Get Your Wife Back And Avoid Getting A Divorce
So, your wife wants to get a divorce, but you don't
. Just where does that leave you? Not in a happy place.
She does not want to talk to you about reconsiliation, or worse - she has started dating someone else.
You are not about to throw away your marriage. Maybe there are kids involved. Possibly even pets. This situation is destroying the lives of more than just two people.
The thought of not seeing her every day is killing you inside. Thinking of her with someone else makes you cringe.
There are very specific steps you can take to get her talking to you again. All situations are different, but the following steps will help you get positive results.
1. Back Off
Tell her you both need some time apart to think. If she has been trying to avoid you, she most likely thinks you will chase her. Instead, do just the opposite. Do not act desperate. You lived your life before you met her, and you will continue to live it even if you don't get her back. It will alter her attitude toward you if you calm down and display some independence. Give her plenty of space and do not be clingy.
If she doesn't answer you calls, simply leave her this message or send her a text. Then, NO NOT contact her in any way for a week or two. (Don't worry about the things she might be doing during this time because you have no control over it anyway.)
2. Be Completely Honest
She will most likely be open to talking when she sees you go on with your life without her. Someone out of reach is usually more attractive. Now is the time to play it cool and not lay a guilt trip on her or try to get sympathy. Be honest about things that were bad in your marriage in the past and present. Do not avoid painful subjects or deny bad things that you did.
3. Be Willing To Forgive
Along with all this honesty may come some things that you find unpleasant. This might be things she has said or done. Or it might be things she points out about you. Remember, the ultimate goal is to save the marriage, not point fingers. Forgive her if you want forgiveness for yourself.
4. Don't Play the Children (Or Anyone Else) Against Her
If you have kids, you should never, ever use them against her. This hurts every person involved, but most of all the children. Refrain from talking to them AT ALL about the relationship. Just assure them that both of your love them and that everything will work out okay, then leave it at that.
Use this same approach with everyone else you know. When you get back together, it will be very uncomfortable if you have aired all your dirty laundry to the world, not to mention embarrassing. It's crucial to have one or more close friends you can confide in, but do not tell everyone you know.
Be sure to keep you dignity in place and always show her respect, even if she doesn't do the same for you.
5. Utilize the 10/10 List
This is a wonderful instrument to get things under control and out in the open. Each of you should draw a line down the middle of a piece of paper. One one side jot down 10 things that you love best about your wife. On the other side jot down 10 things that drive you crazy. Have her do the same. As a general rule, women will usually just at the opportunity to do this and get some things off their chest. This works because it balances the good and the bad.
You will both be amazed at what you get from this simple exercise.
6. Take Up a New Hobby
What does this have to do with your wife? Everything! An innovative, dynamic person is attractive and exciting. Show her you are just as interesting as any other guy out there. She will see you in a new light. This will also keep your mind occupied and introduce you to some new friends to help fill your time.
7. Get Into a Good Bible-Based Church
Something about attending church together seems to bring couples closer together. Most churches also have lots of activities designed for couples and families that strengthen bonds. You can also attend free couples and/or family counseling in a lot of churches. If you find that one church is not for you, then try another one. Don't give up.
Is your wife will not go with you, don't let that stop you. Again, attending church will help you on many ways, including meeting new people.
Relationships can usually be saved if both people really love each other. The more time you have invested, the more important it is to save your marriage. If you think rationally and act calmly, it is possibel to work most situations out.
Now, go out there and get her back. You can do it!
by: Angela Christian Pope
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