How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence
EI describes an ability or skill to perceive, assess and manage the emotions of yourself and others. This includes interpersonal skills (the ability to build rapport, motivate, influence and get on well with others) and intrapersonal skills (the ability to know understand and motivate yourself, and be self aware). It is about:
Knowing how you and others feel and what to do about it.
Knowing what feels good and what feels bad and how to get from bad to good.
Intelligence regarding the emotions, especially in the ability to monitor your own or others' emotions and to interact effectively with others.
Research shows that what distinguishes successful business people from their less successful counterparts is not IQ but EI. When people analyzed and defined the key skills and qualities needed to be a successful business leader they found that the majority of these skills and qualities come within emotional (rather than cognitive) intelligences.
So what action could you take today to improve your emotional intelligence?
1. We all get caught up in the busyness of life. Take time each day to be in the here and now. Stop and see what is around you, the colors, smells, feelings and sounds. Be aware of how you feel and take time to be in the present.
2. Think about how you can influence other people's behavior. Moods are catching and can have a domino affect. What action can you take to draw out positive responses from others?
3. When you are faced with worry, consider the following questions. What is the evidence for the way you are feeling? What is the worst (and best) thing that could happen? How can you change the way you feel about the thing that is worrying you?
4. Realize when you are stressed - the first step to reducing stress is recognising what it feels like. Many of us spend so much time in an unbalanced state that we've forgotten what it feels like to be calm and relaxed. Once you have recognized your feelings of stress, you can then remember what it feels like to be relaxed and learn how to move to this state.
5. When you make decisions, factor in your emotions. How much do they help or hinder you when you are making a decision?
6. Choose your arguments wisely. Disputes take up time and energy, especially if you want to resolve them in a positive way. Consider what is worth arguing about and what is worth letting go.
7. To be happy, take responsibility for your feelings. Remember that no one can make you feel inferior without your permission.
8. Keep a journal or diary and write in it daily. Keep a record of what you are grateful for and record your achievements.
9. Mediate for a few minutes each day. Go somewhere quiet, slow down your breathing and clear your mind to give yourself greater focus and relaxation.
10. Get feedback from others. What do they believe to be your strengths and limitations? Find out how you can build on areas that may be holding you back and further develop your skills and strengths.
Did you know?
Research suggests that emotional intelligence accounts for as much as 31% of management success. Competencies such as interpersonal skills, empathy and your ability to influence others impacts hugely on your performance at work or how you run your business.
As Brian Tracy said "you cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and it that, you will be mastering change rather than allow it to master you."
Want to find out more?
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Find out about your own Emotional Intelligence by taking our online Thomas International questionnaire. This unique package will give you a personalized 20 page report and one hour telephone coaching session with me to help you to develop your own emotional intelligence.
Find out how you can manage stress more effectively, develop and maintain relationships, raise your levels of happiness, and be more assertive and confident.
For 30% off your emotional intelligence coaching package, go to http://www.selfdiscoverycoaching.co.uk/intelligent.html and enter the code PR2N. Please note that this very special offer will only be available until 24 May 2009.
Copyright Karen Williams 2009. All Rights Reserved
Karen Williams is a Personal Development Coach and runs her own coaching business, Self Discovery Coaching. She has over ten years experience of working in Human Resources, training, coaching and management roles and is a Chartered member of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD).
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