How to Make Relationship Last - Its All About Respect
How to Make Relationship Last - Its All About Respect
Since humans began to have emotions other than lust, hunger, and aggression, the question of how to make relationships last has cropped up through the ages. Thousands of books have been written about the subject, so there is no shortage of research and knowledge on it.
However, what we've gathered from everything we've read can be summarized in one word: Respect. Yes, that's R-E-S-P-E-C-T, as in Aretha Franklin's hit song from decades ago. It's indeed amazing that even though we've evolved, respect has been a constant. However, the concept of respect has been blurred to such an extent that it's been equated to either being as silent as a lamb or being the one taking all the initiative in a relationship.
Real respect is somewhere between the extremes. First of all, one should have a healthy respect for oneself. Only then can respect for the other develop.
Respect yourself
In many abusive relationships, it is sad that the one being abused is also the one condoning it. In fact, the abuse starts with one's lack of assertion in the relationship. Let's take for an example a guy who's been cheated a lot of times by this girl. They've long since broken up, but the girl left some deep emotional scars on the guy, not to mention a long list of debts. When we asked the guy why he let the girl do that to him, he just answered, "I need her, and she needs me." Real respect demands that someone knows where he or she is standing. The guy was dependent on the girl, and it reflected his lack of self-esteem at that time. Too much dependency on someone else is a sign of immaturity, and can be used by others against you.
Before entering a relationship, one must first make sure that he/she is fully ready, and that there is no more emotional baggage remaining. In the case above, both the guy and the girl had gone through a string of serious and not-so-serious relationships which all ended in failure. Obviously, the wounds had not healed by the time they got together.
Respect your partner
Making a relationship work also demands that you respect your partner. He/she needs "alone time", and time for other pursuits. Remember, the easiest prey to catch is one that's tied up. Doing things outside of your relationship also strengthens both of you individually. Seeing through your individual differences will prove to be vital as your relationship progresses.
I'm not saying that you should give in to every whim your partner has, but in refusing to do so, it always pays to be firm but gentle. Also, if your partner has a healthy self-respect for him/herself, it will follow that he/she will understand where you're coming from. This is nothing like a scripted tag-team wrestling match; it is part of something dynamic. Dynamic relationships are the best ones - they take into account the fact that both parties have to grow, and the relationships grow along with the people involved. Respect for your partner will also foster your own personal growth.
Remember, making a relationship work does not happen overnight. It takes a lot of hard work and patience. But in the end, having a happy, fulfilling life with you
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