Impact and Influence in Action – What Might be Possible?

To build and maintain impact and influence in negotiation and achieve a wise outcome it's important to manage the levels of engagement

. This means doing everything you can to ensure the conversation and interaction is about joint problem solving, not about fighting for domination.

At some point in the discussions the conversation will move from divergent to convergent from opening up and examining the issues towards closing down and reaching a solution or outcome. I teach negotiators, influencers and leaders to keep a diamond shape in mind (the shape you'd see on a playing card) and check from time to time where the conversation is and when it is time to make the "critical turn" and begin converging.

Depending on the nature of the topic, the culture within which you're operating and the preferences of the people involved the diamond could be very lopsided with lots of diverging behaviour or quickly moving to converging. Whichever it is, the skilled negotiator or influencer makes sure it's under control with deliberate behaviours not just floating along or meandering. If you are to have impact and influence you have to manage your own behaviours against the map, not just hope things will change or work out OK.

In Dr Richard Hale's invaluable Hale Circle of Influence (the map I use to help prepare for negotiations and influencing conversations) the first significant section of the map that is about converging is entitled "Possibilities". In preparing for the discussion you would do well to list ideas for what could be a way forward. More importantly in the discussions themselves you should be looking for new possibilities which may only reveal themselves as the conversation continues.

You will need to say or do something to bring the negotiations into that section of the map. In other words you will need to choose a behaviour which encourages movement into that part of the territory.

The behavioural options for moving into the "Possibilities" section are essentially "Push" or "Pull" we also call this the "Ying" and "Yang" of negotiation. I teach negotiators to stay aware of their behaviour and deliberately choose when to push and when to pull. A "push" behaviour is where the information comes from you. A "pull" behaviour encourages contribution from the other side. The simplest example of a "pull" behaviour is a question of course, but there are more.

Although I never provide scripts for negotiators or influencers these are the kinds of things that you might say:

Push "I'm wondering if we can think about what might be possible ways forward" or "Perhaps we should consider what might be a way forward here"

Pull - "Have you some thoughts on what might be possible to move forward?" or "What do you see as possibilities to consider at this point?"

In both cases keep the language tone tentative. You are testing whether the other parties are ready to move or not. You can't make the journey into the "Possibilities" section of the map alone.

The best way to prepare for influence by design (rather than by accident) is to complete the ClearWorth Personal Impact and Influence Questionnaire (the PIIQ) and receive a fully customised 10 page report on your strengths and weaknesses and unique insights into how to work with the other person.

Impact and Influence in Action What Might be Possible?

By: Clive Hook

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