Improve Your Relationships By Cultivating Acceptance
Who do you like better: People who like you or people who judge you
? The simple truth is that people simply like people who accept them more than people who don't. Yet what if there are people in your life who have certain behaviors that you simply don't accept?
Perhaps they're of a different political affiliation. Maybe they smoke and you don't. Maybe they're raising their kids in a way that you don't agree with.
Whatever the case may be, you simply don't agree with or accept them or their behaviors. Yet, they're still in your life - They might be friends, neighbors or co-workers.
That lack of acceptance is likely causing distance and lack of connection in your relationships. Here's how to close that gap.
==> Practice Looking for the Good
It's easy to focus on the fact that someone has different political beliefs than you. Focusing on that fact is a surefire strategy for cultivating distance.
On the other hand, if you want to cultivate a better relationship, try practicing the opposite: Noticing the things about them that you admire, respect or enjoy.
This same person might be a passionate speaker and a great networker. They might be someone that you know would back you up if they heard someone saying bad things about you behind your back.
You have a choice: You can focus on the things that you don't agree on, or you can focus on the things that you respect and like about the person.
This won't come overnight. If your natural inclination is to focus on the disagreements, it could take months or even years to shift your focus.
That's why it's called a practice: You might never "arrive," but even as you're practicing your relationship will improve.
==> People Are Whole Packages: You Can't Accept or Deny a Part
It's important to realize that people come in whole packages. You can't accept a part of someone or deny a part of someone.
Trying to complain about certain aspects about someone while you still choose to keep them in your life is bound to cause anguish.
Instead, you need to make a decision: Is this person someone you want in your life? With all their imperfections and differences of opinion, is this person still someone you want to have in your life?
Make this decision by treating the person as a whole package, with all their strong points and flaws.
If you choose to accept them, then accept them exactly as they are, flaws and all.
The difference that accepting someone can have on your life might astound you. Once someone starts to get the sense that you've decided to accept them and that you genuinely like them, they'll start to like you a whole lot more as well.
None of this is easy. But if you want to improve the relationships in your life, learning to accept people will make a big difference. Treat it as a practice and don't be too hard on yourself if it takes some time to cultivate that sense of acceptance.
by: Angel Noyal
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