Is Your Marriage Toxic Because You Are A Toxic Husband?
Introduction
Introduction
Is your marriage toxic because of you? Are you a toxic husband, doing lots of things that poison your marriage? Or are you a good husband one that does everything in his power to improve the quality of his marriage daily? In this article you can read more about the things that you should avoid if you do not want to be considered a toxic husband.
Background
A marriage is built on relationships. Obviously, the most important of those relationships is the one between husband and wife. This holds true for every marriage in every country, and therefore also for your own marriage.
If it is true that the relationship between you and your wife is so important, then is it not logical that you should spend as much time and effort as is necessary to make it the most rewarding relationship as well?
Provide Her Emotional Intimacy
One of the things that you have to provide your wife with is Emotional Intimacy. But what exactly is Emotional Intimacy?
Dr Gary Rosberg, a well-known marriage counsellor, describes it by employing the tactic of opposition when he says, "Men spell intimacy S-E-X, and women spell it T-A-L-K."
Emotional Intimacy, my dear friend, is the sharing of your deepest feelings and emotions. It means that both of you should confide in your spouse by sharing your deepest feelings and emotions to each other.
Do not think she will consider you a wimp if you confess to her that you have emotions, and even fears. You are not a god, but a human, and real men are not afraid to share their emotions with the woman that they love and respect.
Make Time For Her
You should, no MUST, make time for these special discussions. These special times have to be agreed upon in advance, and planned for. The right environment is critical - there must not be ANY distractions, so you should find a place and time that you can spend just talking. It is during these special times that you both can talk about your deepest feelings.
By creating the environment for these talks, you will be providing in your wife's longing for oneness with you. And in providing in that need of hers, you will create an unbreakable bond of friendship between you and your wife.
Beware - Sex Can Be Toxic
Remember that during these special times sex is not your end-target. You should not have this discussion with your wife in order to lure her into sex - that would be defeating the purpose. The whole purpose is to provide an environment in which her emotional intimacy can be satisfied.
Also, while you might have wonderful sex together, it does not guarantee that your wife's need for emotional intimacy is supported. As Gary Yagel says, "What husbands do not realize is that just as his wife's eagerness to make love to him makes him feel loved, his eagerness to listen to how her day went makes her feel loved. And just as her lack of interest in sex makes him feel rejected, his lack of interest in hearing what is going on in her heart makes her feel rejected."
So, if you think that you can use sex to soothe your wife's feelings of being neglected, you are making a big mistake - one that will only result in her feeling even less loved!
Summary
If you do not make time to really talk to your wife about what is going on in her life, you are slowly introducing toxins to your marriage. And if you do not fix this, it will cause your marriage to "go down the drain" gradually. Make the time for these discussion sessions. Do it regularly, and watch your marriage grow!
There are MANY more things to learn about how to be a good husband
Is Your Marriage Toxic Because You Are A Toxic Husband?
By: Schalk Lubbe
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