Just Blog About It

It was only recently that I discovered the wonder that is web log

, a medium wherein people can share virtually anything and everything, from the most profound of thoughts to the most mundane of whereabouts. I thought it best to use my personal blog to vent ill thoughts and feelings towards people all without worrying about my safety. After all, if you dont put a face behind the (pen) name, you dont have to bother with dark home tint in California or heavy window tinting in Fairfield to keep you safe from extremist fans and haters alike.

Let me share to you but a few excerpts from my blog that borders poetic, albeit sarcastic. Heres to hoping I wont need full auto detailing in CA after haters egg my prized vehicle when out and about town.

Best Friend, Worst Enemy

You know how they say best friends are also worst enemies. This holds true for me and my BFF. The last known fight weve had was about this blog, Martini Blues, which I aptly named after hers, Martini Berry. She demanded my blog name be changed immediately lest shed make a defamer blog dedicated to me. Either shes not well-aware of the saying mockery is the best form of flattery or shes simply bitching out cause my entries get a whole lot more comments than her lame ones. Not one to go down without a fight, I pulled a pro flooder on her and posted as much offensive comments as I could on her page.

Lip gloss is for flattering, not bothering

You breathe in deeply and the air smells strongly of strawberry and hunger breath. Ah, Kitty must be dabbing her unbecomingly plump lips with gloss again. You see, my friend has an apparent fixation for the gooey substance made to flatter the lips, so much so that she has to re-apply gloss for X number of times within a given hour. She puts on way too much that her lips could pass as long-wearing window tint in Fairfield. Whenever, wherever, Kitty and her tube of cheap lip gloss are together.

McCrawler

If Greys Anatomy has McDreamy, our clique has McCrawler. Josie wasnt named that way for nothing. For one, she has a scruffy look that can attract all sorts of creepy crawlers. We went clubbing once and when she raised her farms, her top also moved up only to reveal an unsightly extension of the forest she was growing down there. Also, she can literally crawl her way out of any trying situation that involves shelling out cash say, paying up at a resto, paying the bar tab and paying for parking to name but a few. And best thing to note, she crawls and rolls like her very life depended on it when shes under the influence. I remember watching her roll down the stairs at the train station and all I did was let out a scream that beat all the car alarms in CA.

by: Kayla Tyler

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