Kissing becomes a lost art: Dr. Dick answers your questions

Kissing becomes a lost art: Dr

Kissing becomes a lost art: Dr. Dick answers your questions

Each week, our readers have the opportunity to Ask Dr. Dick questions regarding sex. Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS, is a Clinical Sexologist in private practice in Seattle, Washington. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for nearly 30 years, and has written an online sex advice column for well over 10 years, Dr Dick Sex Advice: along with a companion site: Dr. Dick Sex Toy Reviews. This week Dr. Dick tackles a question from a bisexual male about kissing. Read more of Dr. Dick's articles in the magazine section at The Adam And Steve Store.

Kiss OFF!

Question: I'm bi male, 25, and I have both female and male lovers. Right now, I'm in more of a samesex phase. I'm dating two different guys that I like a lot. Both are really nice and fun and thesex is pretty good. But neither one of these guys - one is 23 and the other is 25, knows how

to kiss worth a damn. And I can't get worked up without kissing. The 23 year old claims to

be mostly straight and says kissing is too queer for him. The other guy is all like all open

mouth teeth. Yuck! Is it just me, or is kissing a lost art for gay men?

Answer:

You are so right on, Gil! Kissing is a lost art, but not just for gay men. Women tell me that

their straight male partners don't know squat about kissing either. Is it just too intimate a

thing for manly men nowadays, or what?

And yeah, it is queer for one guy to kiss another guy. It's supposed to be, for Pete's sake!

What, does the 23 year old think he'll maintain his "straightness" if he blows and buggers

another dude, but doesn't kiss him? WTF!

In my book, kissing is essential to satisfying sex. If ya can't kiss, I'd be willing to bet you not

a good lover either. Oh, that's not to say that you won't be able to bump parts; any monkey

can do that. But real good lover involves passion and how's there supposed to be passion

without kissing? That's what I'd like to know.

Kissing is often the first sexual experience we have. Whether it's a light kiss from a friend, or

a deep sensuous French kiss with a potential lover. We can express so much with kissing -

love, passion, friendship, commitment - and we can do so while fully clothed.

Kissing someone on the mouth is bliss. But taking those kisses to other places on your

partner's body is a mighty fine idea too. I used to think kissing came naturally to us all, but

now I'm convinced that's now so. It could be we all have an innate ability that just needs to

be nurtured before it blossoms. Whatever the case may be; there are some things the

kissing challenged ought know.

Always make sure that your breath is fresh. There's nothing worse than kissing someone

with bad breath! This is particularly important for those of you who still smoke.

Passionate kissing not only involves your mouth, it also involves body contact, hugging and

touching.

If you're all open mouth, teeth and drool, you're not kissing.

If you rush to jam your tongue into your partner's mouth and down his/her throat, you're not

kissing.

If you're biting instead of nibbling, you're not kissing.

If you're trying to cover his or her entire mouth with yours like some kind of freaky suction

cup, you're not kissing.

If you're kissing with your eyes wide open, you're not kissing.

If your tongue is poking and prodding in your partner's mouth like it is searching for lost food,

you're not kissing.

If someone is kissing you and you're not kissing back, you're not kissing.

If you're body is stiff, like a frozen slab of beef, you're not kissing.

If your hands are stationary without a thing to do, you're not kissing.

If you think kissing is something ya gotta do just to get laid, you're not kissing.

If you're pressed for technique, or you're simply clueless about where to begin, start by

giving your partner a quick peck on the cheek or lips. Then move back a little, look him or

her in the eye, then move in again for another kiss with a bit more passion this time. Slowly

build up the passion and excitement with a series of these kinds of seductive kisses till

you're all over one another like a bad cold.

Or try light kissing all over your partner's face and neck pausing every now and again for a

deep sigh and a longing look in his/her eyes. Whatever you do, don't suck or slobber, save

that for the blowjob.

If you think you need practice kissing; and unless you've been told that you are a great

kisser, you do need practice. And you're too timid to invite a partner to join you for the

exercise, here's what I propose you do. Make a fist; turn it sideways so that you have the

opening between your thumb and forefinger in front of you. Kiss that. Stand in front of a

mirror and watch yourself. If you look like they do in the movies, you may be on the right

track.

When you think you're getting the hang of it, move on to the real thing. Don't be shy we all

have to start somewhere. You might invite your partner to give you some feedback on how

you're doing. Remember, practice makes perfect.

Good Luck

Got a Sex Question?

You've come to the right place.

Contact me here: drdick@adamandstevestore.com

Read more of Dr. Dick's Sex Advice at The Adam And Steve Store in the magazine section.

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