Managing Break-ups
As the famous song said, breaking up is hard to do
. But the process of moving on after a break up is just as difficult. Luckily for us, its not impossible to move on. Here are 10 steps to help you move on after a break up.
1.Acceptance
First and the most important of all, before you can move on is that you need to accept your situation. Its over, you broke up. For some, it might take a bit longer but the important thing is that you let the reality sink in.
Dont let yourself fantasies situations like getting back together or him begging you to come back. Accept and respect that this chapter of your life is finished and tell yourself that youre going to have to get over it.
2.Distance
Maybe in the future, the two of you can be friends again, but now is not the time. Your heart is still broken and bruised and talking and seeing him will only worsen things. Resist the urge to call. If its necessary, delete his contact information.
Keeping in touch with him will just make you hope for some sort of reconciliation thus preventing you from recovering.
3.Stop Talking About Him
Talk to your girl friends and closest friends to get all your emotions off your chest. Venting out is a good way to release all the pain and emotions bottling up inside you. What youre feeling is real and valid and talking about it can be good for you but once youve let it all out, you need to stop talking about it. Talking about it constantly after youve blurted out everything will only keep his memories fresh in your mind. Try to talk about something else or better yet, let your friends talk instead.
4.Do Not Play The Blame Game
Resist the urge to blame him, yourself, anybody else or anything for what went bad in your relationship. Just get the closure you need and learn how to move on. Both of you have tried but it didnt work out. It was probably not meant to be so accept the reality and move on.
5.Learn
Instead of blaming yourself or thinking what you could have done better, learn from the relationship. Everything in life, might it be good or bad, is a learning opportunity and ended relationship is no exception.
Look at it from an objective point of view. Reflect and look at what was great and not so great about the relationship. Keep it in mind or write it down to help you improve your relationship skills.
6.Imagine Yourself Completely Over Him
Try to picture yourself completely over him and the relationship. Picture yourself feeling awesome and fabulous, laughing with your friends, talking to other guys or maybe dating another guy.
7.Focus On Yourself
Before beginning another relationship make sure that you have given plenty of time to focus on yourself. Give yourself time to reflect and get in touch with your soul. Spend quality time with your family and close friends. Take a hobby or involve yourself in activities that will boost your self-esteem. Pamper yourself.
8.Get out!
Socialize. Chances are you might not have gone out yet since your break up so now is the time. Meet new people and make new friends. This is also an opportunity for you to refresh your knowledge in the art of flirting since youve been out of practice for a while.
9.Take It Nice and Slow
Moving on doesnt mean that you will go overboard with excessive socializing. Just relax and enjoy yourself but dont play hard to get. Take your time getting to know a person and dont just jump into a new relationship.
10.Dont Generalize and Never Compare
Not everyone is the same. Dont expect that your new relationship will be like the past relationship. This is a whole new experience to explore so keep an open mind.
Remember, these steps are just a guide to help you get over a break up but positive attitude is still the main key to move on and continue living.
by: Greg Miller Greg Miller
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