Marrying For The Wrong Reasons

This is the thing that trips up many of our young people today

. I blame society in great part for the high divorce rate because we live in a microwave society. Everything is fast and instant. A contract just isnt a contract anymore. Parties will make legal agreements, consent to abide by the terms of those agreements and promptly bail out the second that it is not advantageous to them to remain in the agreement. Unfortunately this seems to be the attitude of many young couples today.

Marriage used to be viewed as a sacred covenant. It was a lifelong and binding decision. It wasnt based on sexual gratification or what the other party brought to the table. There was no such thing as a prenuptial agreement. Once you got in you were in for life. There was no thought of getting a divorce if and when it didnt work out. Unfortunately thats just not the case these days. We live in a high speed society where the pace is fast and relentless. There is always another choice. On television for example there may be over a hundred channels to choose from. So if you dont like the one that you are on you can quickly go to another. When we go to supermarkets there are hundreds of choices of food to eat. You dont have to go through the trouble of cooking if you dont want to. You can buy microwaveable foods, or instant. If this seems to be too much trouble you can go to a fast food restaurant and buy your dinner. I feel that this type of attitude permeates our lives and colors the way that we look at everything else.

People have the try it before you buy it attitude which is not the correct attitude to have going into a marriage. People will have sexual relationships before they decide to get married. So in essence if the sex isnt good then they wont get married. I have a problem with this because when you have this attitude you are marrying for sex and not for love. The marriage agreement entered into under these circumstances is doomed to failure.

You should be ready for marriage when you make that commitment. You are marrying for love and not sex or money. Your mind should be made up from the outset if you are to have any chance of success. You should not marry for your own benefit but for the benefit of your spouse.

There will be times when true love will barely be enough to hold the relationship together. So anything else just wont do. Good sex alone is not enough, neither is money when the going gets tough. When I hear people say that they never argue that lets me know that one or the other is controlling every aspect of the relationship and the other is just a puppet. Love doesnt seek to rule or control others. Love doesnt look for faults. Love wont let the faults that it sees stop it from remaining. Love will weather every storm. The lust for sex or greed for money wont pass the real tests of life. They are just like a house built on sand. They may seem to be OK but the slightest amount of pressure will destroy the entire structure.

I also dont think it is good to seek martial advice from too many different people. The very people who you trust to advise you can only speak from their own experiences. They will advise you based only on their own perceptions of the situation. They see your situation through the colors of their own mind. So if their experiences have been green they may attempt to apply green to your purple situation. Finally remember this; any relationship that you enter into will require a lot of work. It doesnt matter how much you love your little sugar dumpling. One of these days that sugar dumpling is going to work your nerves. Riceland Enterprises

by: tishbite

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