Mentoring Youth: 10 Characteristics Of Successful Mentors

According to a study of Big Brothers, Big Sisters in the USA

, one of the largest mentoring organizations in the world

Be a friend

Dont act like a parent

Dont try to be an authority figure

Dont preach about values

DO FOCUS ON THE BOND

Have realistic goals and expectations

Focus on overall development, not performance and change

Center initial goals on the relationship itself

Emphasize friendship over performance

Have fun together

Youth spell love - TIME

Informal activities lay the foundation for formal ones

Shared activities become great discussion starters

Give your protege voice and choice in deciding activities

Help them to explore possibilities and then make their choices

Listen more than you talk

Question more than you Preach

Be positive

Praise and encouragement build self-esteem

Be supportive rather than critical - focus on solutions rather than problems

Let the protege have much of the control over what the two of you talk about

Don't push, be patient

Be sensitive and responsive to cues

Let them know that can confide in you without you becoming judgmental

Listen

Let youth vent without criticizing them

When you listen they see you as a friend, not an authority figure

Respect the trust your protege places in you

Respond in ways that show you understand. This is not the same as agree

Reassure the protege that you are there for them

Advice should not be dispensed but mutually discovered

If you have to convey concern or displeasure, do it with caring and understanding

Sound like a friend not a parent.... youth easily discern the difference

Remember your relationship is with the youth and not the youth's parent

Maintain cordial contact, but you are not there to be a spy for parents. You are there to be a champion for the youth

Keep your focus on the youth

You are not there to bring about the parents wishes, but to help the youth discover their potential

Be non-judgmental about the family

You are responsible for building the relationship

Take responsibility for making and maintaining contact

Don't expect adult to adult relationships

by: KenSapp

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