Never Divorce With Drama In Public - 3 Lessons To Learn

If you are in the throes of divorce or are getting ready to head in that direction

, there are quite a few things you can learn from some very public divorces. This is not a list of things you want to do during a divorce, but rather mistakes that you definitely do not want to repeat in your own life.

1: Never allow the children to take your bullets!

This had to be number one on the list because it involves people who cannot defend or stand up for themselves. Children will actually be permanently changed when they are put in the middle of their parents problems, be it during a divorce or in a household destroyed by fighting.

Think of it like this: using your children as pawns to hurt your spouse in the deepest way possible is like holding them in front of you as a shield during an armed robbery.

Some mothers will deny their husband access to their children or in some circumstances make it very hard for him to see them on birthdays. This may feel good for her in the moment, but she is hurting her children even more by depriving them of their father. They are essentially taking the bullets and will have to nurse the deepest wounds when the battle of divorce is over.

2: Avoid public assaults of character!

Some couples will go to the media, dragging their personal baggage into our living rooms in the name of making a living, but it is also done by many ordinary people who are very far from famous. You don't have the media to complain to, but be very careful what you say about your ex when you are in public.

You of course will have people in your life who you can say anything to in private, but avoid screaming curse words across the restaurant when you see your spouse on a date or other types of embarrassing public assaults. Also, watch what you put up on social networking sites like Twitter because more people may be reading them than you think!

It may feel good to let everyone know all the bad traits of your spouse, but in the end it makes you look petty and jealous.

3: Keep your personal affairs personal!

Dating when you are going through a separation or divorce is not a wise idea. But if you have started dating again, there is no need for you to make it public yet. We shouldn't know anything about these other women, or men, because dating should be kept private. Dont flaunt your date, wanting to get caught just to make your ex jealous.

It may feel like the best form of revenge to publicly display your new beau for your ex and everyone else to see, but it only makes you look like a rat. It's like an eleven year old sticking her tongue out at her ex boyfriend and saying "I don't like you anymore anyway!" You don't want to be that eleven year old, so grow up and have adult relationships in an adult manner.

Vanaja Ghose 2009

by: Vanaja Ghose

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