One Of The Best Gifts Youll Ever Give Your Family!
No one really likes to talk about death especially with our families
. Its not exactly a way to lighten the mood at Dads birthday party or your childs graduation. So we talk about football or swap recipes instead.
The problem is, when we dont talk about what we want, or what were planning, or whats going to happen after we go, it all remains a mystery to the people we love the most. And when youre no longer around to explain the details of what youve chosen to do and why, it can lead to hurt feelings, arguments and even lawsuits.
Which is not exactly the sort of legacy you want to leave your family.
Weve all heard of families who have disagreed over whether Mom or Dad wanted to be buried or cremated (or in Ted Williams case, frozen). Weve seen the articles about contested wills and court cases that have dragged on for years. You certainly dont want your family to end up front page news because theyre squabbling over your estate.
Believe it or not, the holidays are one of the best times to talk about your plans (and wishes) with your family. Its usually the time of year when all (or most) of your family members gather together at the same time. Plan a dinner or a lunch, invite the whole family, and take the time to level with your family about your plans and wishes.
Some may say youre being morbid. Some may not want to discuss the possibility of life without you even though its inevitable for all of us.
So just gently insist that the conversation isnt going to be depressing or upsetting, just factual. You want to make everything clear to your family now to make things easier for them later.
A good place to start talking about the kind of funeral you want. You may have an exact picture of how you want your life to be celebrated, and where you want your final resting place to be. But if you dont share your vision with your family, in the shock and grief that might follow your death, they may have no idea what to do.
Let them know what you want with as much detail as possible, and let them know what aspects youve already taken care of and where to find the information theyll eventually need.
Your heirs might be expecting to inherit a certain amount of money from you. They may even be counting on it for their own retirement. While you may have your own ideas of how you want your assets distributed, not to mention how much of those assets there actually are.
The problem, of course, is that when people dont get what they want or expect, it can get messy. Thats when lawyers are hired, relationships break down and happy families are destroyed.
The bottom line? Now is the time to talk openly about what you plan to leave and to whom. That way, if there are any arguments or disagreements, you can work through them now, when you can be a part of the solution.
This is one of the best gifts youll ever give your family!
Copyright (c) 2010 Brian Fricke
by: Brian Fricke
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