Relationship Advice: Relationship Failure, Relationship Fears
Feel free to read the answer to the question.
Ive been in relationships that have failed my whole life. They have either blown up or disintegrated. Can you please give me advice of how to have a truly successful relationship?
Okay, this requires getting down to the roots, the roots of your relationship psychology.
So that requires really being willing to face yourself because this is happening based on the choices youre making and based on the psychology thats operating inside of you.
So, we may say to ourselves and say to others I want an amazing relationship. I want to be in love. I want to be a great lover. I want to have romance with someone for years and years. But inside we have this fear. This fear of relationship. And we are not even in touch with it. But what it does is it creates inaction in us. It suppresses us opening ourselves to love. It suppresses being our full authentic self and being a great lover and truly choosing for ourselves a wonderful partner. So, you have to really address those fears. Say, I know who you are and Im not going to let you submerge my ability to love, my ability to choose wisely. So, thats number one. Address the fears. Bring them to the surface. Acknowledge them. If you need to work with someone, work with someone on it.
Two, you know the principles by now of choosing a sacred lover through sacred love. So you need to have emotional compatibility and thats your whole communication sector. How you communicate. How you receive emotional information. How you give emotionally. How you process ideas, process emotions. Work through problems. Emotional compatibility.
Physical compatibility. Can you really have a physical relationship with someone thats zesty and spicy and beautiful?
Thirdly, are you mentally compatible? Do you care about compatible things? Do you spar mentally in a positive way?
Spiritually, are you compatible?
So, if you have these four areas of compatibility, you will have a very good relationship. But it takes loving yourself enough to be patient, to discern if thats the person that you are interacting with. So, I really encourage you to love yourself enough to choose wisely in these four areas.
And lastly, be aware of the masculine-feminine dynamics, at play in your own psyche and in the relationships you choose. This is the same whether you are a heterosexual or same sex oriented. We each have a masculine-feminine dynamic that were comfortable with.
Ideally, its true partnership where the masculine and the feminine meet eye to eye. They occur in empowered individuals. They need each other. They nurture each other. They support each other and they thrive.
But some of us feel very comfortable in that nurturing role, the teacher role, the Im-going-to-help-you-up role to my level in a relationship. Thats a more masculine quality and men and women can have that or you may feel more comfortable with the looking up to someone, having someone guide you, having someone taking care of you. And thats a more of a feminine oriented role.
Now, the most stable dynamic again is true partnership - masculine and feminine looking eye to eye and being true partners. But, we get ourselves into these roles of the nurturer or the aspirer and those are very tricky roles because theyre volatile. The aspirer eventually says I want to be independent and Im going to be independent, I dont want this relationship anymore. I dont want this relationship dynamic anymore. And the nurture says, Im tired of lifting you up by your boot straps. Youve got to do it on your own. And the relationship dissolves.
So, look for true partnership. Address your fears. Choose wisely.
And I recommend that you also use as a support system like the Love Spa, our online love school that can support you through this process of having a successful relationship.
Im ready to see you in an amazing relationship.
by: Karinna
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