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Relationship Counseling - How Do I Get My Partner To Go?

Relationship Counseling - How Do I Get My Partner To Go

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Relationship counseling is more often than not the last resort for couples on the verge of divorce or a break up. Sometimes couples try counseling early on, when problems with their relationship start to occur. Counseling may help and couples should consider it, regardless of the severity of the issues they have. Often, nipping minor problems in the bud can prevent them from becoming major issues later on. Early counseling in a troubled relationship is a good idea and can even prevent a future breakup or divorce.

Younger couples of today are more apt to trying new things, breaking away from common practices, and in this instance counseling is a very viable option. Couples who've been together or married for a while seem to be more set in their ways and less likely to attend counseling or try new approaches. Probably because it wasn't something people did when they were younger. Very often today relationships of thirty or forty years now end in permanent break ups and divorces. This end result is a shame because they probably didn't explore all the options available and they'll never know if counseling could have played a part in saving their relationship or marriage.

If counseling seems like a viable option and you're willing to attempt it, be careful of how you broach the subject with your partner. Make sure when you ask him or her to attend, you do it in such a way as not to point towards any blame or fault on their part. As this may result in resistance or maybe even flat out refusal to try and resolve issues and save the relationship. You must make it very clear that you feel that counseling could help you become a better person thus releasing any guilt or responsibility felt on their part.


By asking your partner to attend counseling with you because you have some things to work on, they will be more likely to view the idea with some favor. Explain to them that counseling will enable you to contribute more to the relationship, and help you become a better partner or spouse. If you believe the problems in your relationship stem from your partner, you must not verbalize your feelings that they are the one who needs the counseling. Just note to yourself that by convincing them to attend, both of you will learn ways to become better partners or spouses, and that's the point of the counseling in the first place.

Don't resist the idea of suggesting that you attend counseling to your partner, whether you've been in the relationship for a relatively short time or forever. It's never too late to try counseling to repair an ailing or broken partnership or marriage. And it's never too late to try to keep minor problems from blowing up and becoming major ones that are beyond repair. If you're relationship is a relatively new one, you might think that suggesting counseling at this stage is admitting that the relationship is not stable and may not be worth trying to save anyway. But the truth is that by facing and dealing with problems and issues now, your building a strong foundation for the future.

With all that being said, if your partner flat refuses to attend counseling with you, go on your own. While it's true that attending together is the best option for saving your relationship, you will benefit by learning to improve things about yourself. Once your partner sees that you're committed to doing whatever it takes, they'll realize your efforts and be more likely to ease up on the resistance and give it a try as well.
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