Relationship Secrets - Should I Get Back With My Ex?
Agony aunt is a relationship advice newspaper column in my local newspaper
, and I frequently see letters there ask "Should I get back together with my ex boyfriend?", and the distinctive breakup advice is always, "It depends!".
Let's break down why "It depends", if you should try and get your ex back? There is no clean cut method to get back your ex, but a few things to think through be your age, how long was the relationship, the reason of the breakup, and ultimately what is it that both of you want.
When dealing with a breakup, age becomes a factor, because in your early years, the person you're breaking up with might be the only person you have ever loved, and if you're young you run a risk that, you will go through several relationships before you ultimately settle down with the one you decide to spend the rest of your life.
If you are still young and you have just gotten out of your first relationship, you will most likely have several more relationships in your lifetime. You probably do not realize yet how well you and your ex are together until you date other people and realize what other people are like in a relationship. If you were meant to be with your ex, you will be able to tell, but until that time, enjoy your time with other people. However, if you have dated several men, and this man is your ideal mate, then go after him with everything you have.
Time you were in a relationship also plays a factor into determining if you should be together or not. In the beginning of a relationship, the romance is usually steamy, and everyone is usually happy. Your emotions will typically blind you to how good the relationship actually was, and you might rush back into a bad situation. For these types of relationships, I would suggest a cooling off period so that you can examine the relationship with the correct perspective.
If you and your significant other have been together for a long period of time, chances are the relationship started to fail due to a lack of intimacy. Intimacy doesn't just stop in the bedroom, it comes down to communication and what you and your partner are willing to share with each other. Stress and financial difficulties are among the leading causes of divorces. I would suggest trying to work out the problems in the relationship so you do not regret not trying to save the relationship. If in the end it does not work out, you would know that you tried everything in your power to save the relationship.
The reason that you broke up will also determine if you should get back together. If you broke up for a silly reason, such as, he was late one evening from hanging out with his friends, then you should give him another chance. Now if he is constantly late, and you have discussed this with him over and over again, and it is showing no signs of improvement, then I would reconsider getting back with your ex.
In the end, it depends on what you and your ex both want. You cannot force anyone to stay with you, and there is no guaranteed method to getting back with your ex. If you really want to try getting your ex back, then the first step is to begin the conversation, and let them know that you want the relationship.
Relationship Secrets - Should I Get Back With My Ex?
By: Rick Buchman
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