Retired Foreigners and Filipino Women - The Pros and Cons
Retired Foreigners and Filipino Women - The Pros and Cons
If you haven't seen what beautiful Filipino women look like, then it's time to go see. If you've heard they make great wives and lovers, then you were told the truth about many. If you've heard that most want security and better living conditions, then you were told the truth. If you were told that some can be unscrupulous gold diggers, then you got the truth again. If you've met some or have been to the Philippines and been with a few, then you are probably hooked.
It's hard for a good looking healthy confident young guy to ignore the come on moves of a beautiful woman! Can you imagine what it is like for a senior age maybe fat and balding man who probably has no woman in his life anymore trying to ignore the stares, the smiles, the come on looks and the vision of his being with her as his intimate girlfriend? If you walk a mile in a senior man's shoes, you know it's damn near impossible unless you already have a Filipina or you know she is underage and could be big trouble. That's the power these goddesses have over older guys. They know it and use it.
Wow you think, what do I do about this situation? I know there are good ones, but how do I make sure I find one good one I can trust? It's easy if you keep your wits about you and your mind focused to remember one simple rule: 1. THERE ARE LITERALLY MILLIONS OF WOMEN IN THE PHILIPPINES LOOKING FOR FOREIGN HUSBANDS, SO, WHAT'S YOUR HURRY?
So, how do you start. You start by joining a good service and talking to as many Filipinas as you can. Pay once and talk to many. Get their emails and messenger ID. Talk to them about the best places to stay, best places to eat, do they attend church, do they know any expats, where to shop, would they show you around if you came to their town, do they have a degree, do they have a jobevery question you can think of that will help you learn about the Philippines. The reason you want to talk to many Filipinas is that they won't lie to you about those subjects I just mentioned. Many lie and distort the truth about themselves for save face reasons, but most would not tell you a dump hotel is a nice place. They want you to be happy to talk to them and they want you to trust them. Expats and Filipino guys (if you could find any that will answer your questions) have no vested interest in spending time talking to you; but, Filipinas have ulterior motives. They are looking for foreigners to have relationships with. Whether they are gold diggers or not is not important in the early stage of knowing her. If she jumps on the subject of money, exercise Rule # 1 and move on.
The way things are in the Philippines is the way they were when you got there. You are not responsible for how things are. You are only responsible for how you conduct yourself. You are worth having true happiness. Be patient and look for her. She is out there and you will find her. The women here may be in a hurry, but why are you?
If you are having reservations about living in the Philippines, then ask yourself why did you want to leave your home? Cost of living, loneliness or both. Here you get rid of the cost of living problem and there are so very many opportunities to enjoy tropical island living you could be somewhere different several times a year. Here you should never lack female companionship very long. You have to adapt to the culture, the everyday living differences and the language its true, but what else do you have to do? You don't have to get into any kind of serious relationship with any Filipinos. Just join in their fun. After all, where else can you go to 8 fiestas a year, celebrate several birthdays, have several holidays for several reasons plus the usual Christmas and New Years.
Watch out for family pressure on your girlfriend to marry you. That happened to my wife. Religious and moral values are suspended so she can lure you in with all her charms. The family will finance internet caf and special dinners in your honor. Consider those an investment by the family to win you over. After you are married they will try to collect saying you must live the Filipino way now. You will be the Godfather of all babies. Filipino family members help each other, so you will be expected to pay all since you have the most to give. I thought to myself, don't hold your breath!
Having a Filipina live in partner is not being married, provided there are no kids. There is common law husband law, but you have to be able to pay a lawyer to fight that battle. The ideal situation is only available to guys with vasectomies. If a kid pops out, you are responsible; but, paying a lawyer to fight that battle is not something she can afford either. If she could, then you probably would be married already. Most foreigners won't abandon their kid. Filipinos have no qualms about it and do it every day. I think the law should hunt them down and make them help pay. I also think Filipinas should be forced to use contraceptives, but that's just my opinion.
If you aren't Catholic and don't know much about what they do, then be prepared for some practices maybe you never even dreamed of. The first funeral service I witnessed was 9 days long. Every day was filled with prayer and vigils of some kind. People donated money for food to feed the mourners. It was a practice to not shave, not operate the store or shower every day. A tent was erected at the front door of the house for mourners. You could gamble though!
I could write 10,000 words more and still not cover all the situations dating and marrying a Filipina can lead to. It is best that anyone seriously interested in one of these ladies join Retireinphilippines Yahoo Group, read all the documentation on the website recommended there and post questions to the members. My best advice besides that is to remember rule number one. Time is on your side.
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