Security for Domestic Violence Victims
If you or someone you love is the victim of domestic violence
, you understand fear and terror. The typical victim stays with an abuser for a variety of reasons that are unique to the relationship. However, the most dangerous time for a victim is when she (or he) decides to leave the abuser. If you decide to leave, you need to think about your wellbeing and what measures (e.g., a cell phone or adt alarm system) will help you most. Because abusers want power and control, the end of the controlling relationship signifies a total loss of power. The abuser decides to increase the level of threatening and abusive behavior in order to regain control of the victim. Often it is less dangerous and less lethal for a victim, and the children, to stay with an abuser. However, because absolutely no one deserves to live with violence, a plan to leave may eventually need to be made. Any safety plan needs to center around the security of the children and victim. This plan may involve any number of tactics, whether its an adt alarm system, watch dogs, domestic violence shelter, or a personal protection order. The safety plan will depend upon the level of danger that is present. Because escaping an abusive relationship can have deadly consequences, victims should talk to an experienced advocate for advice. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE. There are advantages and disadvantages to all elements of a safety plan. For example, if you decide to stay in a shelter, you benefit by getting out of immediate danger. But what happens when you leave the shelter? How safe will you feel? Some victims find that personal security devices, such as 911 phones, give them peace of mind. Others find that they need home security devices, such as an adt alarm system, to feel safe at night. Victims often suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, and feel jumpy and anxious with every little noise. Personal protection orders, also known as restraining orders, can be helpful for some victims. These court orders can keep an abuser from calling, writing, or seeing a victim. In order to be effective, victims need to contact the police to report a violation, no matter how small the infraction may seem. One letter can turn into a dozen roses, which may then lead to a phone call. If you get a restraining order, you need to follow through with your resolve to have no contact. An adt alarm system can instantly put you in touch with the police department, and if an intrusion occurs, a loud alarm goes off. Victims deserve to feel safe at home. However, victims need to make a safety plan for situations outside of the home too. For example, you should make sure that your security department at work is aware of your situation, and you need to be alert in your driveway or when entering your home. Dogs not only make great companions, but also can alert you if people are approaching. However, the downside to relying on dogs as a security measure is that they can be dangerous if taught to attack others. Dogs in the home are often better as friends, pets, and watch dogs -- not as guard dogs. (The adt alarm system has an infrared interior motion detector that can be programmed to your pets size, so that false alarms are less likely.) Once you have a safety plan in place, you can look forward to better days ahead. Many victims do eventually find peace and solace in life.
Security for Domestic Violence Victims
By: Laura Williamson
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