Should I Forgive My Wife For An Emotional Affair? 5 Steps To Moving Past It

Should I Forgive My Wife For An Emotional Affair

? 5 Steps To Moving Past It

When a man finds out that his wife has been cheating on him even if it was "just" an emotional affair - he often finds himself immediately feeling powerless. Part of the reason for this feeling of powerlessness is due to the fact that he just found out that the person he trusted most in life has hurt him in a big way.

In fact, one of the only ways a man can even attempt to regain any semblance of power in his marriage at that point is to immediately go into defensive mode. At that point, the feelings of anger, sadness, and being a victim come out. And, make no mistake, if this has happened to you, nobody would blame you for feeling this way.

To increase his feeling of power (in an otherwise powerless-feeling situation) even more, the man may decide that he could never grant his wife forgiveness for having engaged in an emotional affair. By withholding his forgiveness, he can hold onto that little shred of power that he feels is all he has left over her.

For men like you who are going through a similar situation, the reality is that the only way through this difficult time is to either forgive your wife or to leave her. Right now, you are in a bit of a limbo state whereby neither option seems like a good idea. But, at some point, you must choose one or the other.

If you are wondering, "Should I forgive my wife for an emotional affair?", here are 5 steps to moving past it:

1. Separate your emotions from your thinking about what is right for your marriage:

The first step toward resolution in this situation is to start to gain control of your emotions in regard to the news about the affair. Your emotions on the topic no doubt run strong and deep, but if you are to make any headway at all in taking effective action, you need to put them aside for the time-being.

2. Search your feelings about whether you believe you could ever trust your wife again:

Close your eyes and imagine yourself and your wife at some time in the future. See if you can imagine even for a split second your being able to trust and love her again. If you can, even just for a moment, then you may have some hope in terms of being able to forgive your wife one day.

3. Hear your wife out about what motivated her to engage in an emotional affair:

Now, it is time to approach your wife. You need to open up an honest dialogue with her. Hear her out and find out what was behind her having the affair. Just listen. Don't debate her or get emotional not at this point.

4. Recognize your wife for what she is: an imperfect human being, just like you:

Next, try to see your wife for what she is: imperfect and human. Just like you. Her imperfect state by no means justifies what she has done. But, if you can see her for what she is a fallible member of the human race at least you have the start of the type of understanding it will take to forgive your wife.

5. Decide whether you believe you can trust your wife again:

Now, ask yourself the toughest question of all: can you ever trust your wife again? If you cannot answer that right now, at least ask yourself whether you can at least try to do so.

Consider these 5 steps to moving past your wife's emotional affair and deciding whether you can ever forgive her.

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