Singles - Do you take your ex on dates with you?

Singles - Do you take your ex on dates with you

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There are the people who actually do take the ex' with them on dates. Newly separated and still battling over settlement are usually so obsessed with the (mostly unpleasant) situation, that their conversation keeps veering back to this subject.

This topic maybe interesting to you but let me assure you the other party will soon bore of it and will relate to their friends: "I had a date with a woman/guy the other day and all he/she talked about was his/her ex', it was so boring. I tried to get her/him off the subject but she/he kept going back to it."

At Entre Nous, my introduction agency we had recently enrolled a very pleasant university lecturer. The feedback came back from the first two women, that he talked about his problems with his ex'. I called him in for a review.

I discussed the importance of not talking about his ex'. His response was that he hadn't talked about her and would never do that in front of a date. I had to then explain that we had feedback from two women who said the same thing. He said he hadn't realised he was doing it. That's the problem when the breakup is so new. People don't realise how obsessed they have become with this all consuming problem.

I have explained to many men that when they criticise their ex' they feel that it is reassuring to a potential new partner, however it's not reassuring to the next woman. Her immediate thought is: "What's he going to say about me after we part". Most women are offended if they hear criticism of a sister under the skin. All women do not want to hear about another woman period.

It's uncouth and un-gentlemanly. Some women will ask about other women, however if you talk about others, you will find that you have become trapped in an awkward situation. It is safer never to mention another women to a woman. Make it a rule.

A man pointed out to me that men also do not like to hear criticism of other men thus, whether you are a man or a woman, make it a rule never to talk about members of the opposite sex on a date.

If people ask you about your ex, the safest answer is: "We grew apart, what movies do you like?" Women have said to me, "he asked about my ex' and I had to be honest". You can be too honest. A very wise man once said to me. "You don't have to tell everything, always leave a little in reserve. If you have an air of mystery about you, it makes you more interesting."

When you are dating is not the time to unload all your personal stuff. When you become engaged is a suitable time to tell your fiance about your previous relationships and then it's wise to keep it to a minimum.

The most important rule of all when dating is not to take your ex' with you on a date.

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