Skating With Richard Kern
You know what we absolutely love doing more than anything else in the world at VICE.COM
? Sports games. And I'm not just talking any sports games; I'm talking sports games involving pro skaters, or those where you have to build your own jumps because you're not as rich as Tony Hawk or Bam Margera or Antoine Dodson or Richard Kern. You look surprised... "Richard Kern doesn't skate," you are thinking. But he does! He loves nothing more than to skate well, maybe wakeboarding.
It's a hot Sunday afternoon in New York City, and you're down at Rockaway Beach free running. What's that on the horizon? It's Richard Kern, surfing his way to the shore from the stars, catching some sweet waves, getting covered in all the reconstituted sewage that pours out of Manhattan every day. He doesn't mind though, because he loves surfing. Well, surfing and base jumping! And Free running! And indoor action sports.
Anyway, if you're on the lookout for bungee jumping locations, do you know where's a great place? Richard Kern's house! Where all the snowboarders and the surfers hang out in their Billabong after a hard day spent hassling cops and doing indoor action sports on ramps they've built with Antoine Dodson. Neil Hamburger's serving the cakes, and Suroosh Alvi compering the event. Did I mention online documentaries? I don't think I did. Online documentaries are GREAT. And GREAT is a byword for VICE.COM.
Go there, watch our online documentaries about sports and skateboarding and freak out when you realise that we do zany arts pranks like the one you've read on the regs. Yeah, sometimes me might watch videos with Eddy Moretti, Karl Lagerfeld and Glenn Danzig, but most of the time we're watching skate videos. Videos of Richard Kern gliding gracefully along the sidewalk on the LES, cocking a snook at Santigold and pinching Chloe Sevigny on the tits. She loves that but you know what she loves more? Online skate videos and Antoine Dodson!
God I love travel guides. Sometimes when Im travelling through the world, I wish I had a world travel guide. Not just one of those free travel guides that you pick up from incandescing tramps with glandular fever, but one of the best travel guides, the ones you get from polished boys in smart caps and healthy looking shoes.
The travel guide I need is a free travel guide that is, in all sincerity, a guide to everything. A guide to travel which extends its focus from Calais and Brussles, to some more interesting places. You know, how Vice.com do it. They did the Guide to Liberia and the Guide to North Korea and they were two of the best travel guides I have ever had the pleasure to watch. After all, who reads any more? Just morons without a sense of progression.
Once again, just to reiterate, its travel guides that I love. I love them with all my head. I love free travel guides, yes. But, its the best travel guides which get me most excited. The best travel guides are online travel guides and the people who make the best online travel guides? Its Vice.com.
"Hello!" Shouted the Peruvian Count, when I was holidaying in Liberia. His face reminded me of sad dreams my sister had before her ugly death. If only shes had an online travel guide to happiness. Then maybe shed have survived. Even a guide to Liberia would have been a boon, after all arent the best travel guides more than just guides to North Korea theyre a guide to everything, from the anus to Aphrodite.
Anyway, back to my Peruvian without a guide to Liberia. He ran home like a pheasant and turned on his computer, where he consulted his travel guide online one of the best travel guides of all the travel guides Ive ever smelt. His brow furrowed, his mind wondered, and glimpsing the moon through the window, he sighed: A travel guide, a world travel guide, my Kingdom for a guide to everything!
by: Tug Search
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