Stuck In A Sexless Marriage Rut
If you are stuck in a sexless marriage rut then it can be a very difficult time
. You may well be experiencing a whole myriad of emotions, from disappointment to confusion leading all the way up to anger and resentment. A healthy sexual relationship is the glue that holds a relationship together so without intimacy it may seem that your marriage is falling apart. Obviously forcing your partner to be intimate is not an option so what can you do to get your marriage back on track?Firstly to dispel a myth; it is not necessarily true that your partner's lack of libido means that they do not find you attractive anymore or that they have found someone else. What is probably more the case (if you have ruled out any medical problems) is that there are underlying factors that are causing a loss of sexual appetite. This lack of libido has nothing to do with the act of sex itself. The trick is to find the source of the problem and resolve the issue.
One of the main causes, if not the main cause, of loss of libido, is stress. This may be down to work commitments, money worries or a whole host of other things. So if your partner or spouse is stressed then this can indeed manifest itself into a lack of intimacy with you. If you suspect that this is the case, then there are things that you can do to ease that stress and alleviate the problem.
You do not want to force your partner into talking about the problem as this will only succeed into driving them further away from you, but what you do need to do is create an atmosphere whereby they feel comfortable about talking and can open up to you. You can do this by telling them that you are here for them if and when they need to talk. When they are ready to talk or feel the need to vent, just listen and lend your support. Act as a sounding board and absorb what they are telling you with empathy.
Another way to get your partner to open up is to relax them physically. For example run them a bath or offer a massage. Massages are great at relaxing people without anything sexual being involved. Try using some candles and some soft music to set the scene. Also use some nice oil to put them at ease. Once your partner is at ease and relaxed you may find that it is easier for them to open up and talk to you about their problems.
You see it's all about creating an environment where your partner feels relaxed and comfortable about sharing their problems and issues. This not only sends a clear message to your partner that you care deeply about your marriage, but will also create a very strong bond between you that may have been missing before. Once this bond is in place then intimacy will naturally follow.
by: Julio Gomez