The First 90 Days Are The Toughest In A Blended Or Step Family

Two adults, who have gone through a divorce and are now entering remarriage

, when one or both are bringing children from that marriage, are creating a blended family or step family. This new couple is obviously in love and excited about their bond. Unfortunately, they often fail to realize that the children may not share their enthusiasm.

The first three months are always the toughest, and it's crucial to communicate important information to the children. This will allow you to flourish as a blended family, also called a step family. Here are a few things to discuss with your children.

Everyone is loved just as much as always

All children must be reminded each day that a stepfamily offers just as much love as any other type of family. Everyone is just as important now as they were before the merge. A blended family offers a chance for even more love, as more people are involved now. There will now be a step mom or step dad, as well as step kids involved, which creates more opportunities for love.

It is OK to feel strange about a new family addition

You obviously love the person you have chosen as your new partner, but your kids didn't help pick this person out, and they will need time to get to know him or her. Let your kids know that having strange feelings towards the blended family, and wondering whether they will like your spouse is perfectly normal. Allow them their space to get to know your new spouse in their own time. As long as they are friendly and respectful, that's all you can ask for at first.

Nothing is ever a competition

There is plenty of room for a step mom or step dad, and they are not replacing anyone. The kids still have both their biological parents to depend on, and a stepparent is just a wonderful addition to the family. The stepparent will be respected as an adult and decision maker, but will not be stepping into the shoes of either biological parent. Children often see a stepparent as an enemy of sorts, and the parent may often feel the same way, since the kids take up some of their spouse's time. Make sure everyone knows that they just need to relax and get acquainted with each other.

Liking a new stepparent is OK

Kids don't deal with the emotions are divorce as well as adults do. They will often feel that if they allow themselves to grow attached to a stepparent that they are somehow being disrespectful to the biological parent. Just tell your children that it is perfectly acceptable, and that it will just be a different type of relationship. The love you feel for your parents has nothing to do with liking a new stepparent.

As already mentioned, the first 90 days in a blended family are the hardest. Getting plenty of rest and sticking to these rules will ensure that your step family is emotionally happy and healthy for a long, long time.

by: Shirley Cress Dudley

POST COMMENT

Top Attractions In Edinburgh To See With Family How Can A Small Car Also Be A Family Car? Difference Between The Duties Of A Hospitalist Job And A Family Practice Job Family Can Still Feel Close With International Shipping Us Man Faces 15 Years In Prison For Defaming Thailand's Royal Family Maintaining A Family Medical History Including Personal Health Records And Medical Records Obtaining A Family Health History And Personal Medical History Making Fantastic Utilization Of Family Plastic Adhbins Parent Ministry Resources: Family Vs. Church Ministry To Parents : Qualities Of A Strong Family Home And Family Security Surveillance Camera Debt In Canada Vs. Debt In Toronto - Average Toronto Family Carrying $40k In Debt 6 Tips On Planning Family Fun Activities