The Misery You Create In Relationships Life Coaching

One source of immeasurable misery in relationships is thinking that the past will repeat itself

. Sorry People have changed, life is different, and nothing is the same today as it was yesterday.

WARNING! Listen to The Drunk Monkey in your head. Mine says Matthew Ferry, you are insane! There are many things the same today as yesterday you noodle head!

Look again. Everything is slowly changing, eroding, degrading, evolving, emerging and transforming. Especially people.

Yet The Drunk Monkey (your mental chatter) takes a snap shot of today and then carries it forward into tomorrow. Really bad idea. Especially with people.

Example: In the first five years of my relationship my Claudine (my wife) she went from 23 years old to 28 years old. By that time, the woman I fell in love with had disappeared. The Drunk Monkey (my mind) was upset all the time. She would behave in new ways because she had grown and evolved. This contradicted The Drunk Monkeys opinion of who she SHOULD be. I was upset and frustrated a lot.

As my job is to help others let go of the negative for the positive, so being negative isnt an option. With further examination, I realized that I was holding her accountable to who she was in the past and had no idea who she was today. I also realized that this thought process is exactly what killed my first marriage within five years. Ah Ha! The blinding flash of the obvious hit me. People change! I know that sounds rudimentary and obvious but I GUARANTEE you are holding the people in your life accountable to who they were and you have no idea who they are!

I made the decision that I no longer knew who my wife was, and that I would spend time rediscovering her. It turned out to be a magical time in our relationship. Claudine and I now operate from this notion: I have no idea who you are, so tell me about yourself these days.

When you dont expect the other person to be anything in particular, then your expectations dont get broken and you can stay in a flowing state.

Who are you holding accountable to who they were and not who they are?

Full Article Resource: matthewferry.com/blog/

by: Matthew Ferry

POST COMMENT

Proven Method Free Relationship Breakup Advice How To Make Your Long Distance Relationship Succeed Serviced apartments Bangalore-Residential relationship Traveling To Russia Or Ukraine Looking For A Relationship Ways Of Building Relationships That Last Steps To Saving A Relationship From An Imminent Break Up How To Get Twitter Followers - Best For Increase Your Good Relation Why Do Great Relationships Turn Dysfunctional? Relation Between Weight Loss And Thyroid Problems Counselling - Who Else Wants to Learn About Building a Loving Relationship? Fastest Way Getting Over A Bad Relationship Fastest Getting Over A Bad Relationship Domestic Abuse Counseling - How to Engage Your Partner in Abusive Relationship Therapy