The Three Most Common Causes For A Divorce And How To Overcome Them

The Three Most Common Causes For A Divorce And How To Overcome Them

It's no secret that divorce is way too common and rising. As stressors like the economy, a lack of quality time together, and raising a family in our fast paced society continue to demand more of our energy and attention, keeping a marriage healthy and thriving can be quite a challenge.

However, that doesn't mean we have to give into these factors. Below are three of the most common causes / factors that contribute to divorce. I will demonstrate and argue that there's absolutely no reason why any of them need should jeopardize, strain, or end your marriage:

1. You Married Young: Statistics show that the younger a couple marries, the less likely they will stay that way. But, how many of us know grandparents or couples from church who married extremely young and still hold hands after decades of marriage? What is so special about them? Nothing, except their level of commitment. Ask them their "secrets" to keeping their marriage together and they'll almost always say something like "never going to be angry," or "working through your problems," etc. Simply put, this generation just did not believe that divorce was an option. Their cultural norm was to stay and work things other rather than to run away.

2. Your Parents Are Divorced: This one makes sense, in a way. The argument goes that if you didn't have role models of or you didn't witness a strong marriage in which both partners communicated and worked through their problems, you won't know how to do this when you yourself are married. But, here's where this argument is flawed. If you are a child of divorce, you know firsthand how painful and devastating divorce can be. This can and should be a very strong motivator to save your marriage. And, you had a first row seat to what not to do in a marriage or the mistakes to avoid when trying to save it. Simply put, learn for your parents' mistakes. Use the resources and tools that are available to rise above your history.

3. Money Is A Factor: Statically, couples in lower income brackets have higher rates of divorce than those in higher income brackets. Obviously, if you're arguing over money or struggling to make ends meet, it's going to strain your marriage, but I'll go back to the example of the grandparents or the nice older couple from church, who very likely lived and / or raised children through the Depression. If you have love and commitment, those two things can be stronger than a lack of money. Frankly, a lack of money, (like any problem), can bring a couple closer together if they unite and work together to over come it. And, there are very fun and creative ways that you can experience joy as a family that don't cost a thing. Ever watch Extreme Home Makeover? If not, you should. It will introduce you to countless families who have lost everything, but are often closer as a result.

As you can see, factors that could, should, or can strain your marriage don't have to. Overcoming them just means having a higher level of commitment and determination.

I had a few of these risk factors and they took their toll on my marriage, almost ending it. Eventually, (through commitment and lots of effort), I was able to not only save the marriage, but make it stronger. You can read the very personal story of how I stopped the divorce (when I was the only one interested in doing so) on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com.

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