Things To Consider When Selecting Your Bridesmaids

So, he got down on one knee

So, he got down on one knee. You had been waiting for this moment for ages. You cried, and he couldn't stop smiling. The ring was everything you had ever envisioned. You have told all your family and closest friends. The planning has been set in motion, and you can't stop daydreaming about your dress and hairstyle.

And then you halt in your tracks--because it's time to select the bridal party. What may have initially been relatively drama-free planning has now become a point of anxiety. Trust me, I have been there.

I thought that selecting bridesmaids would have been a straightforward, no-thought process. But because I thought so little about it, I landed myself with bridesmaids that were less than what I expected and needed for my special day. So, even if you have made a tentative decision, listen up!

In our culture, we have had a tendency to categorize the role of a bridesmaid as belonging to close friends and/or family members. While it is true that each member of the bridal party clearly holds a place of honor, the focus needs to shift from their social ranking in your circle to what they are actually going to contribute to the working mechanics of the wedding.

One thing you will want to consider is location. By that, I mean their location relative to yours. I got married and lived four hundred miles away from both my family and my bridal party, which might have been a good thing, had my bridesmaids been willing to coordinate with my parents to help with part of the planning.

However, none of them felt comfortable shopping or planning with my mom, so during the engagement period, they did little, if anything. If the girls you have in mind are like this, you may want to consider selecting other comrades living close by that you will be able to wrangle up to help you.

Be honest with yourself about friends' and family members' values and personalities. I wanted my girls to wear modest bridesmaids' dresses to couple with my modest wedding dress: real sleeves, high neckline, and so on. If a bridesmaid candidate would not be pleased with such selections, don't include her in your bridal party.

Some women naturally steal the spotlight. You want friends there that will be helpful and supportive and then are willing to blend into the background on your day.

That means that you should select bridesmaids that are capable of being leaders and making decisions, but then are in turn willing to take direction and do as you ask. There may be some women in your circle more capable of doing this than your current BFFs.

It is generally inevitable that people will complain or walk away from hurt feelings when you make your final selections. But the people that really love you will understand and be genuinely happy and excited for your big day.

by: Art Gib

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