Think About Honoring National Domestic Violence Awareness Month Here Are Four Steps To Help Prev

Just as with so many other difficult subjects

, the degree to which we keep silent about domestic violence is the degree to which we are complicit in it. Many people do not even understand what domestic violence is. The short, simplified answer is that it is a pattern of abusive behavior where one person seeks to have control over another so as to diminish them or their ability to act as their own person. Domestic violence it is always wrong regardless of the factors that may cause an individual to engage in it.

Did you know that the ribbon for domestic violence awareness is purple? How many purple ribbons did you see this October? In addition to being Breast Cancer Month October is also National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. While breast cancer is a very serious issue that deserves the amount of attention it gets, domestic violence is just as serious and far more common. Yet, it still remains difficult to talk about for both men and women. It can be equally hard to understand or even to admit that one is in an abusive relationship.

Let today be the start of your commitment to quit turning away from any situation where a woman, child, or man is being abused. And, if you are part of such a painful situation let today be the day you make a commitment to get help for yourself. Here are four simple steps that I hope you will find helpful:

1.Get Help! Get help if you are being abused or are the one who is being abusive. The majority of people who are abusive in relationships do not want to be that way. Many abusers act out of trauma and have little, if any, awareness or understanding of why they behave the way they do. The behavior is always unacceptable and must stop.

2.If you are uncomfortable with how someone is treating you in an intimate relationship seek support and education to best understand what is happening. The first time you sense that something is not right that you have experienced something that made you uncomfortable listen to that feeling. Talk to someone. Ask for help. As long as the cycle of violence continues it will become more and more difficult to get help or intervene.

3.Consider broadening your definition of violence. Move beyond the limited view of domestic violence being only about battering. Domestic violence is so much more than physical violence. For instance, using your body size to intimidate, kicking doors and punching walls, threatening someone, or blocking them from being able to move freely are just some other examples of violence. Rule of thumb: If something does not feel right, pay attention to that feeling and talk to someone.

4.Home should be a peaceful and safe place where all family members can live and flourish. We cannot simply say that we want to create a peaceful home. Very often we need outside support to ensure that we do not repeat any of the behaviors that we witnessed and experienced growing up in dysfunctional and abusive homes. Zero tolerance does not have to mean one infraction and you end your relationship it means having a plan and knowing how you are going to respond to that plan. Either the person who is struggling with being abusive is on board with the plan or they are not. Regardless, stick to it!

by: Dan Griffin

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