What Is A Therapists Role In Marriage Counseling?

Marriage is meant to be a journey between two people who have promised to love one another forever

. The two of you are supposed to face battles head on and build a life together. Once you are married, you are half of a partnership.

But, becoming too caught up in the idea that it is you and your spouse against the world can make it difficult to admit when your relationship needs help. A lot of couples adamantly believe that they should be able to fix their relationship themselves. When you are in the thick of marital problems, it can be hard to successfully find solutions. Thats why going to a marriage therapist can be so rewarding.

Provide an objective view

A marriage therapist will provide an objective, third party view on your situation. It is a common misconception that if you go to a female counselor, then she will side with the wife and vice versa. But, that is not the case. A good marriage therapists role is not to choose sides or gang up on one partner. He is there to give unbiased advice. But, if you do feel that your counselor is being biased, bring it up. Any issues you are having with counseling should be addressed immediately, to make sure that you are getting a positive experience.

Guide the conversation

When both parties are set on getting their points across, it can be difficult to understand one another, often leading to arguments. A marriage counselor will be able to make sure that each spouse stays on topic and that both of you get a chance to speak. Many times one partner in a couple is more outspoken and abrasive, which can make arguments one-sided. Not only will your therapist make sure both of you have the same amount of time to voice your opinions and feelings, but also hell ensure that neither of you takes on a harsh tone, nor becomes too negative.

In addition to allowing you both to speak openly, your marriage therapist will also have topic ideas and conversation starters meant to help draw out the underlying problems in your relationship. There may be things that you have been too nervous to bring up in private that you now find you are comfortable talking about. Or, there may also be issues that you didnt even realize were causing you strife that are really a problem in your relationship. Marriage counseling provides a relaxed forum to express your concerns.

Looking for patterns

After talking about your marriage, your needs and your past, your counselor will be able to help you look for patterns in your relationships and assist you in drawing parallels from your past to your current state. It can be hard to look at your life and be objective. But, with the assistance of a licensed and educated therapist, you will be able to pinpoint characteristics about yourself that may be contributing to problems in your marriage. People often dont notice things about themselves. But, counseling gives you the tools you need to see where you can make adjustments.

Bottom line

Marriage counseling isnt about fixing the problems in your partner. It is about looking at your own individual role in the marriage and where you can make improvements. It is also about looking at your marriage as its own entity, addressing the strong points, and making changes where necessary. Your therapist isnt responsible for giving you all the answers and doing all of the work for you. Instead, he is there to provide you with the guidance you and your spouse need to fix the problems you are facing. Marriage counseling is about establishing open lines for healthy communication and bringing couples back to a place in their marriage where they are excited about being a part of their union again.

by: Linda James

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