What Is Fantasy Addiction?

Have you ever found yourself being in love with a particular man or woman who doesn't seem to even notice you

? You go home and fantasize about him or her being in your life, talking to you, being here in bed with you and the list goes on. Then the next day you go out and see that person again only to get a jolt in your stomach; you try to catch her glance at you only to look away as soon as that happens. You know she is unavailable and you don't want to take your chances. Or perhaps you already took your chances and it didn't work out to your advantage. The answer was "no", it may not have been direct enough for you, but what you heard was "not now." Time goes by and this person is still in your head but not in your life.

Fantasy addiction is bitter sweet, it makes you feel good at first but if you don't let go of it, it will turn into craving eating you up inside like a paraside. Letting go of a fantasy is not the same as giving up on a dream. There are good reasons why we dream and fantasize about the things we want to have. Having visions about what your heart desires is a first step to making it happen. However, lingering to those visions can only delay them from happening. And that's exactly what fantasy addiction is, lingering and earning. Eventually your dream will turn into a painful empty feeling of an unmet need that will prompt you to do something about it or make it go away. Since you can't meet your needs at this time, you're only left with the other alternative. Ironically, the quickest way to numb those needs for now is to fantasize more.

Interestingly enough, fantasy addiction happens because at some point we have given up on a bigger dream. Hard to believe, isn't it? Think about it though; remember the time before you met this person. How did you feel or think about falling in love then? Did you believe you couldn't? Were you convinced that no one will fall for you? Were you telling yourself things like "love is for anybody but not for me" or "love will only get you hurt so why bother?" And then suddenly, out of the blue you meet this mysterious person who gives you butterflies in your stomach and everything you used to believe about love that was discouraging, all the things you did not want to believe in the first place - are not true! Halleluiah! Now this mystery man or mystery woman is the answer. He or she is your proof that you CAN indeed fall in love again. It is great that you feel this way now, but there is a trap. If for some reason your mystery man isn't into you as much as you are into him, all the negative self-talk you were giving yourself before he came along becomes true again.

Of course, there is a very good reason why this keeps happening. All the negative self-talk about love bringing pain and heartache, fantasy about unavailable person, unwillingness to take risks are serving you one big purpose - to protect you against the pain you believe love will bring you. Only the truth is that love never brings you pain, it's your thoughts and your beliefs that do.

Copyright (c) 2009 Katherine Bouglai

by: Katherine Bouglai

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