Who Am I Anyway?
Who Am I Anyway?
Who Am I Anyway?
As I write this, I amin North West London sitting in a Starbucks tapping away on my travellaptop (can you say TINY- actually gives my hands cramps). How odd tobe drinking the same drink I order in Canadian Starbucks on a regularbasis but to be in another country. Not sure how I feel about thiseerie sense that I could be anywhere- the gift' of globalization in the form of franchised chains which deliver the same beverages, food,(and even music in the background around) the globe. Anyhow, Idigress...the point of this article is to examine my slight identitycrisis which I'm sure many of you dear readers can relate to seeing that most of us are a mix of many different cultures which whileproviding great diversity, can sometimes also make us wonder where webelong.
My parents were English Jewish hippies from North London in the 60'swho immigrated to Canada at the end of the flower-power decade tostart a new life and try something different. Hence, a few years afterthey came to Canada and married, I was born. While I realized early onthat my parents 'talked funny'- their strong London accents are stillwith them today- otherwise, I adapted easily to being a Canadian.However, I was always aware of my British roots because so much of myfamily continued to live in England and starting at the age of 2, Ibegan to visit England almost every summer during my childhood andteen years.
In fact, I cannot even count how many times I have come tothis land! Since the age of 19, I've averaged one visit every secondyear, and more recently, once a year since my only survivinggrandparent is here and I want to spend as much time with her as Ican. In my teens, all four of my grandparents lived in London, as wellas an aunt, cousin, uncle, and too many great aunts/uncles and secondcousins to count- all of whom I am lucky enough to be close to thanksto so much time spent here while I was growing up.
Sadly, many of the elders have passed away, but I still have a numberof relatives living here that I feel the need to visit yearly. It'skind of weird when I'm in Canada and I meet someone with an Englishaccent and get all excited and tell them about my Englishness becauseI have a Canadian accent (although I use a lot of Englishisms' in myspeech) and also weird being in England, feeling like it's my secondhome, and being seen purely as a Canadian, or 'foreigner'. Sometimes Iwish that I had been born and raised in England so that my accentmatched that of my family and I felt as though I fit in a bit better,but then I wouldn't have the wonderful life and opportunities living in Canada has afforded me (which are many).
It's an odd feeling to feel homesick for two different countries, whichare so unique and separate. While living in Canada, I comfort myselfby watching BBC television and renting countless British films and readingas many English novels as I can get my hands on. I also like to bringback little trinkets for use in my home, which remind me of England (wanted to bring back matches but realized that these would mostlikely be confiscated at security on my journey back to Canada).
During my regular visits to England, I like to Skype people in Canadaand read novels by Canadian authors and excitedly chat with randomstrangers in the street who are displaying a Canadian flag- I think Inearly caused a woman to faint with shock yesterday when I did thisin a local supermarket- she wasn't expecting such enthusiasm from a fellow Canadian...
It also causes much confusion to fellow Canadians that I am Jewish aswell as partly British- for some reason they can't understand how youcould be both. It's not strange to me as I know that Jews live allover the world, in many different countries and take on theaccents/languages of that place and often move around a lot even oncethey've settled somewhere. We are, after all, a nomadic tribe.
I'm working on an exciting project regarding eating disorder activismin Canada and the UK and am hoping to bridge the two countries I havecome to know and love so well together. We'll see how that goes. Fornow, I'm going back to my granny's for dinner, then hopping on a planetomorrow morning back to Canada where I will jump into the arms of mydear hubby and relax once again on the small, laidback Canadian islandwe call home.
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