Why Do I Avoid Social Situations?

Why Do I Avoid Social Situations?

Why Do I Avoid Social Situations?

Most of us get nervous or self-conscious at times. Situations such as meeting new people or attending a job interview are common triggers for anxiety.

For some people, however, this anxiety is so intense that they will go out of their way to avoid situations that may cause them embarrassment.

This social anxiety can be crippling - many commonplace scenarios can become too difficult to handle...

An invite to a party may have some us of jumping for joy but for others it may be the trigger for social anxiety.

Instead of happiness the invitation triggers a fear response. e.g.

Fear of having nothing to say

Fear of saying something stupid.

Fear of being judged.

They seize up at the thought of attending and find an excuse not to go.

Not going doesn't make things better though. The fears that stopped you attending are reinforced. The chances of accepting next time are diminished and it's likely you won't be invited again anyway.

But, look at it this way - would you have been invited if the host did not want you to attend. You only invite people that you actually like to your party. They WANT YOU to attend. They want YOUR company!

So, what's the worst that can really happen if you go?

There's no doubt you'll feel anxious. But what does that mean?

Your own focus on the symptoms of anxiety may make it seem worse than it actually is.

The physical symptoms of anxiety are directly evolved from the fear that protected our ancestors from dangerous predators. In reality nothing is actually happening - but that's not how it feels!

Consider these points with me...

In most people's minds, you are not the focus of the situation - they are at the party to socialize and dance.

People who you have not yet met are not judging you negatively.

It's not a crime to be shy - You don't have to feel responsible for keeping the conversation going - silence is OK.

You can leave whenever you want to!

You can learn to face the social situations you fear in a gradual way, rather than avoiding them.

Just by facing your fears you will become more confident in your social abilities and your anxiety will lessen.

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