Why Do You Have Two Ears and One Mouth?

Why Do You Have Two Ears and One Mouth?

Why Do You Have Two Ears and One Mouth?

What is The Single Most Important Skill You Can Use To Improve Your Relationships and Influence People? It's YOUR Listening Skills! Listening is more than half of the persuasion equation and it's what we're focusing this lesson on.

Everyone wants to be heard and understood. It's a fact. So how do you improve your listening skills? Practice. Make it a habit. What Makes a Good Listener? Few people are actually good listeners. Many believe they are but in fact, they're actually much better talkers. Listening requires several key ingredients...

- The ability to focus:

When we're really listening to someone, we only hear them. We're not thinking about what we're going to say. We're not anticipating what they're going to say and we're not hearing all of the external sounds and distractions.

- The ability to be in the moment:

Being in the moment means being 100% engaged with the person you're speaking with. You're not thinking about what you're doing in an hour. You're not thinking about how the person you're talking to perceives you. You're not thinking about anything other than the conversation you're having with the person you're with. And even those thoughts are limited to what is being said right now.

- The ability to relax and be confident at the same time:

Much of what distracts us and prevents us from being a good listener is insecurity. We're more focused on how our companion perceives us than what they're really saying. The truth is if you stop worrying about what they think, and actually listen to what they say, they'll regard you positively.

Think about the interactions you have with others. The positive ones have one thing in common - you felt in sync with the person. Either you felt appreciated, recognized, liked, or heard. They all stem from good listening skills and the ability to be in the moment.

Now it's much easier to listen to people whom we're comfortable with and whom we enjoy talking to, right? It's much easier to listen to people you already have a relationship with. So the real challenge is to apply listening skills to strangers and people you don't have a strong relationship with.

- The ability to ask questions:

We all love to talk to someone who seems genuinely interested in what we have to say. The best way to convince someone that you're interested in what they have to say is to ask questions.

And this is where empathy plays a critical role. If you can put yourself in the other person's shoes, then you can ask more relevant and compelling questions.

Here's a little experiment. The next time you are introduced to someone new, ask them a question or two and then sit back and listen. People love to talk so you'll learn so much about them. You'd be amazed what a small world it is and how the people we meet can have a positive influence on our lives.

Practice this question asking technique during your daily conversations. You'll be surprised how effective it is.

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