Why is it So Difficult to Get Your Ex Back?
Why is it So Difficult to Get Your Ex Back?
You have been deserted by your partner and anyhow you want your ex back. But all the familiar methods like pleading, cajoling and even crying endlessly have failed or fallen in deaf ears. Come to think of it, why do people find it so difficult to get the ex back? Let us analyze the problem one by one:
You beg and plead. What happens to your ex? Your gestures convey feelings of 'guilt' which in no way can your ex admit. Give yourself the benefit of doubt, that your ex still has feelings for you but the person he/she left for exerted some kind of pressure which could not be ignored or tackled. This cannot provide the right means of getting your ex back. Remember no one wants to be reminded of the mistakes done in the past. So no amount of pleading and crying would help.
Try the NC or NO Contact strategy. Why people are compelled to keep in tough is because they feel their presence would trigger some memories of happy times. This unfortunately does not work. On the contrary, if you are unavailable they run after you, simply because you are one up. Relationships succeed due to the maturity and the individual ego states. Can you imagine what can happen to your ex if you simply disappear into oblivion, to another city, another town or whatever? Your ex would get desperate if not anything else, possibly to show you how happy he/she is. All this, basically, to prove a point. But if you want your ex back really badly, this is a proven strategy.
During the NC stage, do not spend time in moping and moaning about your ex. Get busy with new activities and work. Nothing satisfies more than when you are busy pursuing a hobby or interest successfully. After even if your ex succeeds in getting in touch with you - he/she would immediately feel disgusted to find a crying and desperate partner.
In stead, try to find someone else who has a sense of humor, is attractive and fun to be with. This way you stay happy and give yourself an opportunity to forgive and forget.
Use the time to do some self-analysis. It is possible you might find areas which need improvement for you to become a better person.
Try to expand your preferences. It is not rare to find couples separating simply because their tastes in art, literature or music are not compatible. Being adamant or critical about another person's choices makes life very difficult and can pose serious problems to get your ex back.
Finally, whatever efforts you take, do not bend and go on your knees to get back your ex. If the NC phase seems unbearable, talk to a friend, join forums, take a sabbatical, and pursue a hobby or work harder. Who knows al this might make another you, far better to start a new relationship all over again.
Try to implement some of the strategies and refrain from suggestions of what not to do as given above.