You Found Out You Have A Cheating Spouse - Should You Retaliate By Being Unfaithful Yourself?

You Found Out You Have A Cheating Spouse - Should You Retaliate By Being Unfaithful Yourself

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Have you ever been in the uncomforable position of knowing thata goodfriend or relative has a cheating spouse? I bet your first impulse is to think that the person being cheated on doesn't know what is going on. Then you feel very angry or sad that your friend has a cheating spouse.

Many people believe theymarriedtheir best friend and it would never occur to them thatthey have a cheating spouse. For anyone who believes they are in a happy, securing, trusting relationship, it can be very hard to image yourself in thesituation of having a cheating partner. No one wants to believe that infidelity problems can happen to them.

Then one day you wake up and your worst nightmare becomes reality. But are you absolutely sure that your spouse is cheating?

The doubt tends to creep up on you gradually. The signs of a cheating spouse may be subtle or they may be so blatant they basically smack you in the face. You may notice eye contact between your spouse and someone else or you may catch onto half truths or outright lies. You may notice unexplained charges on a charge card, unexplained miles on the car or odd behavior from your spouse. Whatever the situation, things just don't add up and you become suspicious that your spouse is cheating on you. Your confidence in your spouse is shaken and your marriage is in jeopardy.

Usually it comes as a complete shock that infidelity has struck your marriage. Most people in this situation want revenge and sometimes choose to have an affair of their own to get even.

The feelings of anger and betrayal when you have a cheating spouse are sometimes so strong that it can lead you to make rash decisions. No one wants to be seen as a victim in this kind of situation.

Have you ever wondered what you would do if you were faced with a cheating spouse? Sometimes the feelings of anger and betrayal are so strong that you do things you would never normally consider doing. It can be shocking when your partner cheats on you and throws those vows aside. You might reason that it is ok to get even and set out to have an affair of your own. That way both partners are back on even footing, right?

Taking this step is something that can't be taken back. Not everyone will have this reaction and not everyone will go out and even the score. But for anyone considering doing this, are you absolutely sure you spouse has crossed the line and cheated on you?

If you give in this knee-jerk reaction and actually cheat yourself, you had better be sure that you know beyond a doubt what has really happened.

Only you can decide if you can live with the fall out of a retaliatory affair. After the fact, you are going to have a lot of feelings to process. Just because your spouse cheated on you, does it make it right for you to cheat too? How are you going to feel while you are actually cheating? What will you do if you feel guilty about seeking out your own affair? Is this one of those things that you are going to live to regret?

Just be sure you take a step back and think about what you are doing before you do it.

Don't you want to know for sure?

For some people, there will be no guilt at all and they will feel it was the right thing to do. Some people may feel the relationship is already over or maybe just won't care if it causes even more damage to the relationship. Some people will use retaliation to deliberately open up a whole new set of issues as a way to permanently end the relationship. Only you can decide what your best options are.

Ask yourself: "Just because your spouse is cheating on you, is it ok to have your own affair just to retaliate?" At the end of the day, how will your life after the affair change?

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