4 Reasons Emotional Cheating is So Devastating to Marriages
Emotional cheating is so much more than a nifty new buzz word used in divorce courts across the country. It is quickly becoming an epidemic that impacts about 20% of all marriages. Many of those marriages end in divorce because people are simply unable to cope with the emotional distance that is created by this form of cheating. Here are just a few reasons that emotional cheating is so devastating to marriages.
1) It gets down deep to the heart of things. In many ways, emotional cheating is more devastating than physical cheating. The one little bit of comfort and solace that people take about physical affairs is that the heart still belonged to the husband or wife at home. That isn't always the case with emotional affairs. Physical affairs are often about sex or about one need the other person meets. Emotional affairs are when one spouse withdraws from the marriage emotionally and begins making a significant, if not complete, emotional investment in the other person.
2) It feels hopeless. Hope is the one thing that can keep a marriage going throughout and in the aftermath of a physical affair. People feel as though they can compete if it's purely physical. They lose hope that they can compete when they know the other person is slipping away and feel powerless to stop it from happening. Hope is a powerful thing and once that is lost, most of the time, so is the marriage.
3) It is so intense. Emotional infidelity is not about the flames of passion that are gone once they've been spent. These are intense emotions that build and build over time. The same emotions that are being withdrawn from the marriage. The stronger these new emotions become the more the 'cheating' spouse withdraws from the marriage and gives to the other person. The relationship doesn't have to be consummated in order to be cheating. The intensity of it is all consuming enough without sex being a factor yet.
4) Sex isn't the most devastating factor in infidelity. Sex is rarely the kicker when it comes to cheating. It is rarely the one thing that pushes the marriage over the top. It's not about having sex with someone else for most couples. It's about the lies that are told to make it happen. It's about the secrets. The broken trust. Cheating isn't just about sex and sex isn't when cheating happens. Emotional affairs are so devastating because they are so powerful and consuming to the people who are carrying on these affairs. Sex may not have happened but for all intents and purposes that is often just a logistical technicality.
4 Reasons Emotional Cheating is So Devastating to Marriages